What are the four primary ideas? How have they been active in my recovery?.
- We are powerless over the problem of alcoholism.
- Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Admitting my powerlessness freed me to come to Al-Anon
- It took many events to bring true acceptance of my powerlessness
- I could not find serenity and peace in my life until I accepted my powerlessness
- We can turn our lives over to a Power greater than ourselves.
- Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- I don’t have to do it alone.
- The groups and the literature are a source of help / new ideas / tools.
- Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- I discovered that if I listen, if I pay attention, I will get guidance.
- “Still, small voice”
- Other members
- “coincidences”
- The phrase “care of” God is important to me.
- We need to change both our attitude and our actions.
- What attitudes did I need to change?
- I know what is best for my loved one.
- It is my duty to “fix” other people.
- If I can’t, I am a failure.
- What actions came from those attitudes?
- All the things I did to try to convince her to stop drinking
- Raging
- But also,
- I’m not allowed to be happy unless others are happy.
- It is selfish to do things I want to do, if others don’t want to do those things
- My well-being is dependent on my loved ones’ well-being.
- I need your approval to know that I am a good person.
- And what actions came from those attitudes?
- Putting others' needs and wants ahead of mine.
- Not knowing my own needs and wants.
- Not doing things that I want to do
- Approval seeking
- What attitudes did I need to change?
- We keep Al-Anon’s gifts by sharing them with others.
- You were there for me!
- When I listen to you, I hear my own experience. (“How is that you are living inside my head?!”) This won’t happen if I’m not in a meeting or talking with another member.
- Being a sponsor required that I dig deeper into my own recovery.
- Sharing my own ESH reminds me of where I came from and how much progress I have made. It inspires me to keep on working.
Readings and Links
We read from the 2022–2025 Al-Anon Alateen Service Manual, p. 20, “Four Primary Ideas”
Upcoming topics
You can contribute to our annual gratitude episode. What are you grateful for today? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Loved this!
Hi Spencer
Thanks as always for your generous service and thank you for introducing the four primary ideas of Alanon from the 2022-2025 service manual.
I love their distillation of the principles and spiritual focus of the program.
I have been listening to the music and sound of
Jacob Collier recently and his song “Saviour” may be one that fits also in Co dependency topics.
These words arrested me;
I know she’s always goin to try to please me , but
She could never find the strength to leave me.
She’ll never be the one to free me”
I’m so greatful to have eventually found the strength to leave a relationship of 27 years and to be granted the courage to change the things I could when I finally made the commitment to build a new relationship…. With my higher power and myself.
I am greatful for the slowness of my learning and the patience and kindness of alanon , a wonderful resource to me for close on twenty years and for members like you whose service holds a light for others to see.
With gratitude
This episode is a Gem!!! Thanks so much Spencer for your efforts and contributions. I once heard in a meeting ” anything worth doing is worth doing poorly” it helps me when I get stuck in perfectionism. Sending love ❤️
I am so thankful for all of you at The Recovery Show. Having this resource, 24 hours a day, is a blessing. Bigger than that actually but it’s the best I can come up with at the moment.
Thank You Thank You Thank You.