Do you have trouble making decisions? What have you learned in recovery helps you make decisions?

Eric, Spencer, and several of you share about indecision and making decisions. Our conversation was guided by these questions.

  • Definition: 
    • a choice that you make about something after thinking about several possibilities
    • the ability to decide quickly and without pausing because you are not certain:
      • She acted with decision, closing the bank account and calling the police.
    • something you choose; a choice
  • If the enemy of serenity is indecision and hurry, why then is it suggested to “Don’t just do something. Sit there”?  huuhh??
  • There seems to be a contradiction for me between indecision, in its negative connotation, and a taking a healthy pause before making a decision.  How do you understand this?
  • Are you ok with asking for help?  Guidance?  “Suggestions”  Who do you turn to when in doubt about a making a decision?
  • How do I apply the acronyms; W.A.I.T., T.H.I.N.K., STOP, J.A.D.E. and exercise the Al-Anon pause without feeling anxious and indecisive?
  • Can you embrace the notion “When in doubt, don’t”?
  • How do you feel about the phrase “I don’t have to win anything today”?
  • Are you ok with the answer “I don’t know”? when feeling confronted or forced to make a decision?  “NO,” as a complete sentence?
  • Is not making a decision, a sometimes healthy decision in and of itself?
  • Can I sit in the A of Acceptance (from the three A’s) as long and until I feel good about my decision? How do you “get there”?
  • Do you believe that “Urgent things are seldom important and important things are seldom urgent”?
  • Is the rocking chair ok to use sometimes to wait for guidance?  Going back and forth and getting nowhere?  Can I sit with this and actually allow myself to enjoy it sometimes

Readings and Links

We read from How Al-Anon Works, p. 69 (soft cover) (Just for Today slogan), p. 104 (Chapter 16, 12 Traditions), p. 50 (Chapter 8, Step 3).

We discussed The Eisenhower Decision Matrix: How to Distinguish Between Urgent and Important Tasks and Make Real Progress in Your Life (Art of Manliness) 

Jess wrote about a grief meeting on InTheRooms, Thursdays at 9am Pacific, 12pm Eastern. She sent a link about the therapist who leads that meeting, and an article Ambiguous Grief During the Covid Pandemic.

A listener recommended the book You Can't Make Me Angry by Dr. Paul O.

Marilyn told us about the Al-Anon group, Any Faith or None AFG, in Lawrence, KS. For information, email She says, We study the principles and tools of the program from a secular perspective.  Anyone is welcome.

Upcoming topics

An upcoming topic is the effects of recovery. How are the effects of alcoholism or addiction countered by the effects of recovery? What have you gotten from working a recovery program? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Music from the Show

The Clash – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
George Jones – Choices
Tracy Chapman – Fast Car

1 comment on “Making Decisions – 354

  1. Priscilla says:

    When you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything.

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