How do you trust? – Episode 281

When do you decide to trust (or not to trust) someone?
How do we trust others in the program?
What fears might stop us from trusting?

  • What is trust?
    • (noun) firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
    • (verb) believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.
  • How do we come to trust someone?
    • The marble jar analogy.
  • Brené Brown on trust: (
    • We often think trust is built by grand gestures at crucial moments in our lives, but trust is typically built with simplicity and small actions. After looking at the research Brown said, “It’s very clear. Trust is built in very small moments.”
    • Charles Feltman had the “most beautiful definition of trust,” which was “Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.” “Feltman says that distrust is what I’ve shared with you that is important to me is not safe with you,”
  • What are some of the “marbles” of trust that I found in the program?
    • Open, honest, vulnerable sharing
    • “Nodding” — “I’ve been there. I know what it feels like.”
    • Members being there week after week.
    • No judgement.
    • Keeping confidences.
  • What are some “marbles” of distrust?
    • Unsolicited advice.
    • Someone assuming they know what I feel.
    • Breaking confidence (rare in my experience)
  • Brené Brown’s acronym: BRAVING ( )
    • Boundaries
    • Reliability
    • Accountability
    • Vault
    • Integrity
    • Non-judgement
    • Generosity
  • Tradition 12 “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.”
    • Anonymity is the basis of the trust that makes the program possible.

Readings and Links

We read from Courage to Change, April 3

We recommend the new book from Al-Anon, Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships

A listener spoke of her experience in Recovering Couples Anonymous.

Another listener suggest a topic of “intuition vs fear”, which reminded me of episode 61, Intuition or God's Will? 


Our topic for next week is Mary Pearl T on Step 7. Also upcoming is an episode on Acronyms and Alliterations. Acronyms like HALT, FEAR. Alliterations like the 3 A's or 4 M's. What is your favorite? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email and share your favorite (and why). Or just leave a comment right here.

Music from the show

Brené Brown, The Anatomy of Trust

Etta James: Trust In Me

Christina Perri: Trust


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