What does it mean to “place our problem in its true perspective”? Can a change in perspective change everything?
- Our suggested opening says “as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives”.
- What is perspective?
- From dictionary.com:
- the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.
- the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship: Your data is admirably detailed but it lacks perspective.
- a mental view or prospect: the dismal perspective of terminally ill patients.
- a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance
- the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it; objectivity: try to get some perspective on your troubles
- Scrabble points: 26
- Perception and attitude: perception is how i see things. Attitude is how I react. (http://sarahtauber.com/interesting-words/perception-vs-attitude-difference/ )
- How do I lose perspective?
- (Over) reacting in the moment.
- Dramatizing / awfulizing
- Minimizing (denial)
- Not looking at “the bigger picture”
- What happens when I lose perspective?
- How can I “put things in perspective” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201702/putting-things-in-perspective)
- Ask yourself what is the cost to you and others of your reaction?
- Observe and describe rather than judging.
- HALT (Am I hungry angry lonely, or tired?, WAIT (why am i talking), THINK (thoughtful, honest, intelligent, necessary, kind)
- What can you still do? (Serenity prayer, first things first)
- Pause
- Serenity prayer
- Ask how you will feel in a week? A month? A year?
- Regret, shame, guilt? 8th step list?
- How important will this seem in the future?
- Consider it as an inconvenience instead of the “end of the world.”
- “Rational” comes from “ratio” — consider proportion
- Making crisis work for us (https://al-anon.org/blog/affairs-making-crises-work/ )
- Breaking through denial
- Slowly rising awareness
- Sudden revelation
- TED talk “transformative power of classical music” — Story (from The Art of Possibility) about shoe salesmen in Africa, opportunity, and perspective. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LCwI5iErE\
- Program tools
- Serenity prayer
- Let go and let God
- How important is it?
- Quotes: https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspectives and https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/different_perspective
Readings
- Chapter 16: Tradition 1
- Part 2, Chapter 16, “A Nun finds Spiritual Peace”
- Part 2, chapter 31, “Letting Go of a Loved One’s Alcohol, Drug, and Money Problems”
- January 27, “sometimes dirty dishes are just dirty dishes” (How Important is it?)
- June 24 — “It wasn’t much of a day for egg-laying, but it was a great day for music!”
Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Music from the show
Duffy: Put it in Perspective
John Mayer: Stop this Train
John Mayer: Clarity
Bob Dylan: Simple Twist of Fate
Hi Spencer:
I’ve been listening to the show for many months and this is the first time I’m writing in. I recently listened to the episode about perspective. You gave examples of sudden awareness. I experience this at my very first Al-Anon meeting over a year ago. The topic was truth. I was very fortunate that it resonated with me so much that I have been attending bi- weekly meetings for over a year now. What I came to understand at that meeting is that I had been denying my own truth throughout my 25 year marriage. I knew that my husband was an alcoholic but as long as he denied it I told myself that I was crazy. I was in so much denial that when my children repeatedly asked me if daddy was drunk I told them that he was “tipsy” because I thought was less scary than a drunk father. The awareness that I could trust my own truth has been transformational.
I don’t know if you’ve ever done an episode on truth. If you haven’t I would be happy to participate.
I appreciate all of the work that you and your cohosts put into each podcast. Thank you for your service.
God bless,
Tania A