Denial and Acceptance – Episode 253

I deny!Did you admit to yourself or others the presence of alcoholism in your life? Why not? What happened when you broke through your denial into acceptance?

  • What is it?
    • Do we have to be somehow aware of a problem to be in denial?
    • Definition from Merriam-Webster:
      • psychology : a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality
      • — in denial: refusing to admit the truth or reality of something unpleasant; a patient in denial about his health problems
    • Withholding from someone else but more especially from ourselves
  • How did we experience it in our lives?
    • In our alcoholic situations.
    • With aging parents.
    • With our own health.
  • What it the relationship between denial and admitting?
    • We probably have some form of awareness of a problem in order to deny it
    • We must admit a problem exists to start to move out of denial.
  • What tools have we found to combat it?
    • “3 As”: awareness, acceptance, (alternatives,) action.
    • The Steps themselves.
    • Self-awareness (Steps 4 and 10)
    • Listening to my inner voice / gut
    • Support of a Higher Power (Steps 2, 3, 6, 7, 11)
    • Honesty and Courage
    • Compassion
  • How is our life better when we accept reality on its own terms?
    • Serenity
    • Freedom
    • Accurate perception of myself, becoming the person I want to be
    • Catch slips earlier
    • Loss of fear

Readings on denial

How Alanon Works, Chapter Five, Pages 21 and 22

Hope for Today – pages 123 and 138 (May 2, May 17)

“Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth.” From Survival to Recovery page 267, The Promises of Alanon – in Chapter “Joy is our Birthright”

Join our conversation

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Music from the show

Anna Graceman: Living in Denial

DiamondLyn: Self-Awareness Rap (to the music of Lauryn Hill’s Lost One)

Pam Tillis: Cleopatra, Queen of Denial


3 comments on “Denial and Acceptance – Episode 253

  1. Nancy says:

    Hello again.

    First, let me say, Spencer, belatedly and I’m sorry for that, that you have my sympathy for the recent loss of your dear dog. I’ve thought of you often about that. I know personally the pain of losing a beloved pet. I hope you can find peace with your grief over him.

    Please know, too, that you are in my thoughts as you recover from surgery. As a nurse myself I also appreciated your positive comments on the nursing staff and their care. We do care, and caring for our patients wellbeing is why we are there. I always feel that my job as a nurse is one way I can “practice these principles in all my affairs.”

    Keep it simple,
    Nancy D.

  2. Betty says:

    Am looking forward to more podcasts.

  3. Mary says:

    Thank you for this episode from 2 years ago. I’m so glad that you keep this collection online to that I can search for topics I need to work on. I’ve listened to a lot of your shows and this one in particular was very helpful, so I wanted to write to you for the first time to say thank you for this show and all the others.

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