How do kindness and courtesy help us live live more serenely and happily? Can we be kind to our alcoholic or addicted loved ones?
Eric and Spencer share their experiences of how kindness and courtesy work in their lives.
- What is kindness?
- What is courtesy?
- Ways of being kind and courteous:
- Smiling and saying “hi” to people I interact with in my daily life — bus driver, checkout person at the grocery store, co-workers.
- Realizing that the person who cut me off on the highway has their issues, and those are not mine is being kind to myself.
- Responding courteously to anger keeps me calmer and may defuse a tense situation.
- Keeping my mouth shut when I want to lash out!
- We read from Al-Anon literature:
- How Al-Anon Works, chapter 12, Communication, the section “How we say what we say”. (Also available as a Kindle e-b0ok.)
- Courage to Change, April 13. (Kindle version.)
- One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, January 20 and October 25.
- And from a couple of articles from Psychology Today:
Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email firstname.lastname@example.org with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Music from the show
Glen Campbell: Try a Little Kindness
Serena Gomez: Kill 'em with Kindness
Jackson Browne: Tender is the Night
2 comments on “Kindness and Courtesy – Episode 211”
What a great topic Eric! Thank you Spencer for doing this. Your discussion especially highlighted the growth that comes from behaving with kindness.
Left me thinking about the meditation “Just for Today”. It speaks of of genuine kindness, not the superficial, people-pleasing type that comes with a hidden agenda or expectations.
(“…JUST FOR TODAY I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count…”)
I am learning in recovery that kindness includes presence, acknowledgement, appreciation, compassion, and usefulness which may be beautifully contagious, though not always. Also program tools are important for me to keep honest with my intentions and motives. What I might perceive as giving act may not actually be appreciated by the recipient. Confusing care-taking with kindness is also something I need to be careful about. I am learning to give and let go of the result, without expectation for a desired response, which is especially difficult.
Just for Today
This conference-approved literature in bookmark form provides meditations and a prayer to help us stay focused on what we can do, “Just For Today.”
JUST FOR TODAY I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
JUST FOR TODAY I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.
JUST FOR TODAY I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will lean something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
JUST FOR TODAY I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do – just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won’t find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Thank you both for yet another wonderful Podcast! Safe travels.
I related so much from podcast. Thank you so much