Do you believe you can control another person’s drinking? Or maybe all of their behavior? What consequences have your attempts to control led to?
I recently started working the steps with an AWOL group (A Way Of Life). In our first meeting, we agreed to address the first 5 questions about Step 1 in the book Paths to Recovery. (Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.)
- Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior?
- How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?
- Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?
- How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
- What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?
Upcoming topics include “the 3 P's: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis”. We will also be addressing more questions from Paths to Recovery: How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond? What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else? How can I let go of another's problems instead of trying to solve them? Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one? In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people? In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else's behavior?
Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email firstname.lastname@example.org with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Music from the show
Lesley Gore: You Don't Own Me
3 Days Grace: Just Like You
The Pretenders: I'll Stand By You
A Spotify playlist with some of the songs considered for this episode: