Another conversation about families. What did you learn from your family of origin? How have you found new ways to relate to families in recovery?

Tom joins us, and talks about what his family was like growing up, what he brought from that into his adult life, what he rebelled against, and how he is using his recovery programs to find a more balanced way of living and relating to his families — his family of origin and his recovery family.

As with last week's conversation, we were guided by these questions:

• Describe, generally, what kind of family you grew up in.
  • Was there (active) alcoholism or addiction?
  • Was there codepenency?
• What did you learn in your family of origin?
  • About relating to other people?
  • About keeping secrets?
  • About love?
• How did these affect your life before recovery?
  • Your relationships?
  • Your ability to take life on life’s terms?
  • Your desire/need to control others and your environment?
  • If you are a parent, what patterns from your parents did you bring into your new family?
  • etc?
• Alcoholism is described in our literature as a “family illness”. In what ways do you now understand this description?
• How has alcoholism or addiction affected you and your family (current or family of origin)? How has your perception of this changed in recovery?
• How has recovery helped you to develop / discover new ways of being in family?
• How has recovery helped you to be with your family of origin?
• How do you use the principles of the program (including traditions and concepts) in your family or other relationships today?

An upcoming topic is the first “gift of Al-Anon”.  It says “We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.” How do you see this gift appearing in your life? Or are you still waiting for it? Another topic I’m thinking about is “We”. What does it mean to you that this is a “we” program? How does hearing the experience of others and sharing your own lead to recovery? To me, this is both the core and the mystery of our program.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Music from the show

Eminem: Cleanin' Out My Closet

The Ramones: We're a Happy Family

Nirvana: Been a Son