Letting go of the process – Episode 105

Do you want to do recovery “your way”? Are you skipping steps because you don’t like them? Can you let go of control? Spencer and Harriet talk about letting go of the process.

  • Harriet, can you explain what you meant by “letting go of the process” when you suggested this topic?
  • How do/did you try to control your recovery?
    • obsessively doing the things we *can* do
    • overdoing self-care
  • What parts of it do/did you particularly not want to let go of?
    • “character defects” — I want them removed in my order
    • outcomes
    • comfort in maintaining the illusion of control over my own life
  • Why?
  • How does letting go help your recovery? Your peace of mind?
    • focusing on control of outcomes is a “fool’s errand” and makes my life unmanageable
    • It frees me to focus on the things I can control
    • Frees me to do self-care
  • What blocks you from letting go?
    • impatience
    • perfectionism
    • Not wanting to feel unpleasant feelings
    • judgement and shame
    • fear
    • expectations
  • What ways have you found to let go?
    • Prerequisite – Accept who and where I am right now.
    • Being open to the universe — humility
    • Work with a sponsor
    • Prayer
    • Meditation
    • what else?
  • What do you still struggle with letting go of?
  • What would you say to a newcomer who isn’t sure the program will work for them?

Upcoming topics include caretaking and parenting. We are particularly interested in hearing your experiences of parenting in an alcoholic family. How do you talk to your children about alcoholism? What amends have you made to your children? If your spouse is still drinking, what do you do to keep your children safe?Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Music from the show

Broken Bells – Control

Sia – Breathe Me

Frozen – Let It Go

The music in the interludes, all by Just Plain Ant:

Fade Out , All Becomes Dust, Love(d)

Other Stuff

Jennifer recommended the book “Adult Children of Alcoholics”.

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