Do you wish that things would just stay the same? Does change freak you out? Maybe you get depressed when live today isn’t the same as yesterday. If you identify with these feelings, stick around. Today, I’m going to talk about changes.

There is a big change for the Recovery Show: Kelli and Swetha have decided, for personal reasons, that they can no longer participate in the show. In this episode Spencer reflects on how this change affected him, and how he is using the program to work through it. Here is his rough outline for the show

  • Awareness: What happened? How I felt? What I did?
    • “Change is a process … becoming aware is the first stage of this process.” (How Al-Anon Works, p. 23)
  • Fear of change and uncertainty. What about just giving up?
  • Acceptance:
    • “being willing to feel the feels, and if I can't bring myself to do the next right thing, at least trying to refrain from doing the next wrong thing” (from a friend via Facebook)
    • “Change, even wonderful, positive change, involves some grief for the old … life” (HAW p. 88)
    • Working the steps: 1 … 2 & 3 … 4 & 5 … 6 & 7
    • Gratitude — for what was — and that I can keep on moving forward.
    • Serenity prayer!
    • Reading from Bless the Imperfect.
  • Action
    • Sermon this morning: “What is the love story we tell that keeps us going?”
    • Where are we going?
    • I am committed to continuing the podcast.
    • I will be drawing on the local recovery community for guests and maybe, ultimately, new co-hosts.
    • It will be different. I fear not as good, and I hope to grow into something better (just as we would have continued to do.)
    • Your contributions are valuable, perhaps more now than ever.
  • Thank you to all who have contributed, and special thanks to those who sent prayers for me this week.

Our topic for next week is Step 10. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Music from the show

David Bowie – Changes

The Byrds – Change is Now


Other Stuff

Brian sent a link to this Loudon Wainwright III song, White Winos.


4 comments on “Changes – Episode 47

  1. Rick B says:

    My brother Spencer, I can feel and hear how difficult this is for you. I’m just a listener and I was shocked to hear that Kelli and Swatha were just gone.

    This show has been such a treasure in my life, and you three have become insiders in my life. I’m feeling this loss with you, man.

    I started Alanon in Colorado a year ago and for the first time in my life I began to really understand the world and me – and started picking up the tools you know Spencer, that changed my life.

    When I started listening to you I was very much alone in a foreign country where almost no one spoke English, then I moved to Washington State where I didn’t know anyone, and started attended Alanon meetings there.

    I compared those meetings to the one’s in Colorado and was very judgmental because I missed my Colorado friends in the program, and they did things differently. I was totally closed down and angry about this change.

    But, I kept going and trying different meetings and lo and behold I found a totally new dimension in the meetings I had frowned upon, and when I returned to Colorado recently I was actually sad to leave some of the friends I’d started to make there.

    When I first saw the news about your co-hosts before I hit the play button I was really sad. But, I wanted to support you and started listening to “be here” for you. Now I’m halfway through your solo podcast and already I’m feeling better just for your courage, insight, vulnerability, and honesty.

    Thank you for being here for me. Prayers to you and my support in the days and weeks ahead for the new people you’ll meet and the journey you are already on!

  2. Ruth says:

    Hello Spencer,

    I also want to especially thank you for this solo episode. I always frown a little bit when the talk comes to quality of a program, because we are talking about people who are trying to do their best, hopefully. But it is true some people have more insight and have more progressed. But being touched and feeling connected to the other person only happen to me when they are really talking about themselves, honest, open and vulnerable as you did in this episode (as Rick mentioned too).
    That is a gift I always enjoy and often keeps me from feeling sorry about myself.

    I don’t worry about what happen with the future episodes. I would just ask to you take care of yourself. If there is no meditation available for each day, I’m going to read one from the past or push myself to contribute one 😉 . Even if you can’t record another episode a week, I would be happy if you could announce that by a short notice but if not it is ok too. 🙂

  3. Elee says:


    Thank you for sharing your loss regarding the departure of Swetha and Kelli. I have been listening to the podcast for several months now and have received much hope and faith. I feel apart of a greater community as I commit myself to my journey of recovery. Your candor and vulnerability in this podcast helped me to experience the program at work. You are in my prayers as you courageously move forward with the podcast. Thank you for your service.

    With gratitude

  4. ML says:

    Thank you SO MUCH for continuing this podcast! I’m sad w/ you. I really enjoyed the 3 of you. But it’s really hard for 2 healthy minds to walk very far together, let alone more than 2. And every challenge for each individual is compounded for the group. I’m sad about this change, but I’m SO GRATEFUL that you are continuing. I’ll keep listening! Peace be with you!

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