find – a meditation

find me


Go find yourself first

So you can also find me.


– Rumi


Why would I need to find myself? I mean, here I am, right? And, if I am here, and you are next to me, then you have found me, yes? But of course, Rumi isn't talking about physically finding me. When it came to finding my spiritual center, to finding my soul, well, I was clueless. If you asked me what I wanted for dinner, I would respond, “what do you want?” If you asked me my favorite color, I would say, “I don't know.”

I might not have known who I was, but I was pretty sure I knew who you were. I knew what your favorite color was, and what you wanted for dinner. I knew what you needed to do, and how you should do it. If you were hurt, I wanted to make it well. If you were broken, I wanted to fix you. And if you wanted to find me, well, I could be whoever you wanted me to be, wherever you wanted me to be.

In Al-Anon, I was encouraged to stop being you, and to start being me. But how? I began to see how, as I listened to each of you share your stories. I began to see how, as you told me about finding out that you really enjoyed movies, or walking, or photography. I began to see how, as you spoke of how you gradually let go of a need for others to behave according to your plan. You didn't tell me how I could find myself. No, you told me of how you found yourself. And in your stories, I found myself.

A meditation for August 17, 2013

The Who: Who Are You?

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