But now I know this:
I know that God exists.
I held her in my arms.
I never knew I was able to ever feel this strong.
Blue October — The Worry List
I have never felt more connected to God and the universe than when I first held my children in my arms. How is that we can create new life? How is it that these newly created people have their own identity, their own personality from the first moment? The love I have for my children must be something like the love God has for all of us.
As they grew up, I wanted to protect them and guide them, to insulate them from the bumps and pain of living. But, you know, they had their own ideas, their own goals, their own plans. The toddler who said “do it SELF!” became the teen whose ambitions sometimes outstripped her abilities, resulting in emergency room visits. (“Hi, this is Heather. Your daughter is OK, but you need to come and decide if she should go to the ER.”) Explorations of friendship turned into first loves, and eventual break-ups, with middle of the night drama. Late night exploration turned into an encounter with the law. Throughout, even when I was angry, scared, or just shaking my head in disbelief (“you did WHAT!?”), that core love never failed.
And so it is with God. I may or may not follow God's plan, but I know I am always loved, for what I am, for who I am, right now.
A meditation for August 16, 2013
1 comment on “God – a meditation”
I began to wonder why I had such problems, even with the word GOD, before I found the program. I felt like I had given God a shot and didn’t get the results I had hoped for so naturally my conclusion was that God was not for me. After being in the program a while I heard someone say “God is either everything or he is nothing” which I found enlightening, but it was still not breaking the barrier for me. Then I heard an AA speaker say it was really “God is either everything or he is ME”. That was what finally helped me to see that it was not God who had failed me, it was ME in the form of my self-will that had let me down. When I tried to call the shots and control the uncontrollable I had been blaming God for the results. Ive learned to try to stay out of the results or a resentment could be headed my way. I’ve also learned that when it comes to running the universe – I may not be the best man for the job.
Keep up the good work guys! Thanks!