A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.
Henri J.M. Nouwen
I am not a patient person and I want formulas for everything. The truth is I just want a guarantee that my needs will be met and met right now because I'm scared they won't be and I'm scared that if my needs aren't met right now, they never will be. My 12 Step recovery program guides me to a connection with a power greater than myself of my own understanding. This second part is very important. It must be of own understanding or else, how can I trust it? How else can I turn my will and my life over to this Higher (as it states in Step 3) if it is not a power that I understand or is what I need?
Having this connection with my Higher Power, I am able to trust it and trust my life to it. My Higher Power loves me and takes care of me and never leads me where it will not protect me. I am always taken care of even when I am scared, even when I am uncomfortable, even when I am sad, and even when I am not in control. I am always taken care of. So, I can trust. I can trust my Higher Power to meet my needs when they are meant to be met. With this thought in mind, I am able to grasp the concept of patience and trust. When I am able to be patient, I am able to realize that a lot of my “needs” are really just habits I picked up in order to feel in control. I don't need my family to be a certain way for me to be OK. I don't need to be rich in order to be serene. I don't need to be perfect to be happy. My Higher Power taught me that by meeting needs I didn't know I had by not meeting “needs” that I thought I did have.
In my wildest dreams, I would never have been able to come with a life as beautiful as mine is right now. And I didn't have to think it up. My Higher Power took care of it as it takes care of me every day.
A meditation for July 16, 2013.
Watch Over Me – Bernard Fanning