Believe nothing, no matter where you read or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
My black-and-white thinking provides me such interesting and often contradictory character traits. I simply entirely believe another person about everything they ever say or dismiss them entirely. In engaging in this behavior, I found myself treating myself in the same way. I either think I am completely correct and the other person is 100% wrong or I dismiss my viewpoint and thoughts entirely and defer completely to the other person's point of view. This, it turns out, bred a lot of resentment in me.
After coming into recovery, I realize it does not have to be this way. Just because someone that I agreed with once says something, doesn't mean that everything they say will always work for me. In fact, it most likely won't. I can take what I like and leave the rest. A close program friend often tells me “Don't trust your head, don't trust your heart – trust your gut.” This has so helped me in moments of uncertainty when I find myself engaging in black-and-white thinking. I am able to take each thought (one thought at a time) and see how it sits with me. My head often rationalizes the situation, my heart mostly minimizes my feelings, but my gut never fails in notifying me whether or not it works for me.
So today, I try to trust my gut and believe nothing unless it feels right for me. And I allow others the dignity to make those choices for themselves – just because something works for me, it doesn't mean it works for everyone. Being able to accept myself and others as we are, in this way, has been another gift of my program of recovery.
A meditation for June 2, 2013.
That's All – Genesis