Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
I have always wanted to be healthy. I have always wanted to respond to hard times in a positive way. I have always wanted to grow spiritually. But I decided to wait until whatever difficult situation passes. “Not today. It'll take so much effort today. I just don't have time to deal with something difficult today.” That was my excuse every day.
Eventually, many days passed and nothing changed. Ironically, at times like this, I would then look back and think “if only I had done it back then, I'd be done with it by now. But I can't today, because it'll take so much effort today. I just don't have time to deal with something difficult today.” I look back on it and laugh now, but I realize I always found the time to be angry, or worry, or take someone else's inventory, but I could never find time to look at my own part in things and take the first step towards recovery.
The truth is, I was just afraid of the pain I'd have to deal with if I set a boundary or tried to become more self-aware or respond in a way that I felt was healthy. I was afraid of suffering. Being in a recovery program now, I am often reminded that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. And, when I finally got honest with myself, when I was behaving in those unhealthy ways, I was already suffering. But I was afraid to reach for something better for myself.
So, today, I am going to take a step that I was afraid to take yesterday – no excuses. And tomorrow, I might be in pain, but that, too, shall pass. And I shall be a step closer to the person I want to be.
A meditation for June 7, 2013.
One Step Closer – U2
4 comments on “closer – a meditation”
I didn’t know I needed to read this, but I did. Thanks for nothing! 🙂
But really, hard truth is what I need. Not what I want. But what I need.
Glad to be of service!
Thanks so much for this meditation today. It came at exactly the right time and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks so much and please continue with your podcasts. They have helped me tremendously. Keep up the good work!
Lorraine, thanks so much for your comment! Sounds like your Higher Power at work, leading you to exactly what you need to hear! 🙂