Don't be afraid to give yourself everything you've ever wanted.
It is very easy for me to set aside my own wants and needs in the face of what I consider to be the “greater good.” If others' chores aren't completed, I do them – even if I have other things I need to do. Then I get resentful and hold the other person responsible for my not finishing my own work. This my own low self-esteem at work in three ways: 1) I believe that I must complete the work of others in order to maintain harmony in the home, 2) I don't believe my work is as important as the work of others, and 3) I am easily overwhelmed by my own work for fear that I won't be good enough at it or that I will fail. That is, I focus on the failings of others and try to fix that rather than be self-aware of my own to-do list.
In the recovery program, I am no longer as afraid of failure. I often hear, in the rooms, and truly appreciate the phrase “progress, not perfection.” I am no less a valuable because I did not succeed at a task by my definition of success. I try, I reach out, I grow, and become a better person whether I succeeded at the task or not. My Higher Power knows what I need. All I need to do is suit up and show up for life. The rest will work itself out. I need never be afraid to try to do things that are important to me, again.
A meditation for June 4, 2013
Take A Chance On Me – Ah-ha