In this episode, we are talking with parents who have found support and recovery. Some have children who are still actively drinking or drugging, while some of their children have found recovery, and some struggle with mental illness. Their children may be teens or adults. They will share their experience, strength, and hope with us and with you.

We asked Fred, Jane, Beth, and Andrew to share their experience, strength, and hope around questions such as these:

  1. If your child started drinking/using/illness as a minor, how did you balance your responsibility (legal and moral) as a parent with the program’s suggestions to Let Go, Detach, etc?
  2. Did you feel that you caused your child’s disease? How did you deal with that feeling?
  3. If your child was active in their disease as an adult, how did your sense of responsibility change? Was it easier to detach and let go?
  4. In the program we talk a lot about forcing a solution.  Were there parts of your child's life where you feel like you tried to force a solution?  If so, how did if affect your relationship?
  5. How difficult is it for you to not “take your child's inventory”.  What do you do to help yourself stay away from that behavior?
  6. How do you gauge your child's “willingness” to recover vs your own desire to see them get better?
  7. How did you deal with your boundaries when it came to financial support
    • when it came to providing shelter, food, and clothing for your underage child that was actively using?
    • when it came to providing shelter, food, and clothing for your adult child that was actively using?
    • when it came to paying for treatment programs?
    • when it came to paying for treatment programs even after repeated relapses?
  8. How did having an alcoholic child affect the way that parented your other children (non-using)? Were you more controlling of them? Did you neglect them, etc?
  9. Did you set boundaries with your actively using child such that you were able to “protect” your other children? If so, how?
  10. How did your relationship with your children (active, recovering, & non-alcoholic) change once you came into the program?
  11. How did your relationship with your alcoholic children change once they were in recovery?


Our topic for next week is Step 5, Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Music from the show

This Spotify play list includes other songs that we considered for this show.

This song by John Lennon is not in Spotify, but fits the theme of the show very well.


3 comments on “Parents roundtable – Episode 22

  1. Patrick says:

    Nice. How about a similar format for “siblings of?”

  2. Ruth says:

    I heard this episode just to have the list complete 🙂

    After all this years in the program I have to admit that I still feel guilty from time to time, thinking that I have kicked off the drinking of my loved one.
    Hearing that parents may be able to accept that they didn’t caused the drinking of their children, brought me closer to my acceptance. Thank you.

  3. Christina G says:

    This parent’s forum was comforting for me to know that I’m not the only parent going through the situation. What I loved most about the program is the clarity of not taking my sons inventory and not feeling guilt. Also the format of the conversation was on point and focused. I would love to either be a part of a conversation in the future or please have more forums just like this!

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