At the center of your being, you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
Today, I set a very important boundary with a loved one, though I was afraid. I am extremely grateful to my HP for getting me through that situation. Now, that I have set that boundary, I am still afraid because I know that that boundary will be poked, prodded, pushed, and tested and reinforcing it will be difficult and cause me pain.
I find myself at a spiritual crossroads; I can listen to my fear which at the moment is trying really hard to masquerade as truth, or I can listen to my soul which is my connection to my Higher Power. The fear tells me to take down the boundary, apologize immediately, and not rock the boat. That would certainly be the easier way. However, in order to do that, I will have to tell myself that what my soul needs does not matter as much as what my loved one's ego wants.
That would have been an easy thing to tell myself before I came to recovery and worked the Steps. But now I value my connection with my Higher Power above all things and all people. So, I know that I cannot, anymore, tell myself that my soul does not matter, anymore. So, intead, I will take the more difficult road and continue to set the boundary because I know that boundary is my way of respecting and loving myself. And that is what my Higher Power wants for me. And I trust that my Higher Power will not lead me where my Higher Power will not protect me. I am never alone.
A meditation for May 17, 2013.
Be Still – The Fray*
*Thanks to Kat for the song suggestion.