Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this quote because the more and more I am in the program, the more I am able to see how the universe is conspiring to help me. I think before the program, I wanted to get better, but I wanted to get better on my terms. Thankfully, the universe did not give me what I wanted, it gave me what I needed.
Earlier this week, I was pondering the thought that I can be extremely codependent when it comes to my parents because part of me fears that I need them and that I would be lost without them if anything really bad should happen. Later in the week, I hit my car against a pillar, and felt more shame that reinforced my fear that I was incapable and also fear about what my parents would think. Then I was able to take care of the situation on my own. Afterwards, when I me with my parents' disapproval, I was able to be OK with it because I learned that I could be OK without their help. My trust and faith in myself increased exponentially.
I put out into the world that I wanted to have more faith in myself. The universe delivered me a pillar. Thank God.
A meditation for March 21, 2013.
I Can See Clearly – Johnny Nash