We should have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others.
–Thomas à Kempis
Recently, I found myself disapproving of the way a loved one was responding to a certain situation. I thought it was inappropriate and incorrect. Eventually, I came to realize how much I was obsessing about it and more importantly, that it was not in my “hula hoop”. All that is in my “hula hoop” is my actions, my behaviors, and my boundaries. I realized that if my loved one was violating my boundaries, I could try to establish my boundaries. If he wasn't violating my boundaries, then I was justtrying to control his behavior.
Even after this realization, I remained resentful of his behavior. Moreover, I was resentful of the fact that it wasn't in my hula hoop because I wanted to “justifiably” try to control him! After talking it over with a program friend, however, I realized that this wasn't an opportunity that my HP put in front of me so that I could try to “fix” this person. This was an opportunity for me to learn acceptance and patience. Once I turned the focus to myself, I was grateful for my loved one's behavior because I realized that it was a way in which my HP was reaching out to me.
Today, when I notice myself disapproving of other people and their behavior, I ask myself a simple question of “is it violating my boundaries?” If the answer is yes, I try to establish my boundaries. If the answer is no, then I am grateful to have another opportunity to learn to love and accept others as they are rather than judge them for what I think they should be.
A meditation for March 26, 2013
True Colors – Fredro Starr ft. Jill Scott