“Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars”
― Serbian proverb
Most of my life, I have engaged in black-and-white thinking and saw the world in absolutes. This included my behavior. If I was “right” about something, I would extremely proud and quite egotistical. If I was ever shown to be “wrong,” I would be ashamed and completely deferential. There was no middle ground. I based my entire self-worth on how “correct” I was in any given moment. Since no one could be “right” all of the time, my peace of mind suffered greatly because this was how I chose to value myself. I was exhausted, and perpetually worried about what the next moment would bring. Through recovery, I was able to realize that simply the fact that I exist means I have a right to be, just like everyone else. I do not need to prove my right to exist. I do not need to be right to be respected. Nor do I need to be egotistical any more than I need to be ashamed of myself. I, now, love and value myself always – regardless of whether I am right or wrong. And I extend this acceptance to all of those around me. Today, I see that most of the world is a middle ground. I am humble without feeling humiliated. There isn't just black and white everywhere, for me. My world is now filled with colors!
A meditation for January 3, 2013.
Spectrum – Florence + the Machine