Acceptance – Pilot episode 3

Kelli leads a discussion with Swetha and Spencer about acceptance. Kelli opened with a reading that begins “It is said that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional …” She speaks of her previous belief that accepting something meant thinking that it was right. She has grown into an attitude of patience, acceptance, and tolerance for people in her life. Acceptance is very important to her when she is driving, which she does for her job. Swetha used to ignore or deny behavior that she didn't believe were how they should be, and feared that acceptance would make things real and ok. She has learned that she can accept someone's behavior as real without approving of it. Spencer also used to feel that acceptance meant approval, but now accepting reality lets him find the ways in which he can make his life easier and more serene.

Swetha speaks of her fear that accepting reality would mean that she had to deal with it somehow, and that she didn't know how to deal with it. She now understands that she can say “it IS”, and that she won't fall apart. Faith in her Higher Power helps her to know that she will get through whatever it is. Spencer talks about acceptance of family  members, “allowing” them to be who they are, who they have always been, and understand that they won't change. He can do his part by not triggering the unwanted behavior, and his relationships have improved as a result. Kelli says that working as a sponsor to other women in the program has helped her to learn acceptance. Spencer recorded a conversation earlier with Anne, who had a lot to say, and spoke of how accepting her feelings helps her to move through them and past them. Anne recalled the reading from AA, “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” She talked about how she applies it in her life.

We share how we felt when our loved ones were seemingly destroying themselves and their lives by drinking or drugging. Acceptance of our loved ones' diseases helped us to support them in their own struggles without enabling, without getting in the way, without making ourselves crazy, while keeping hope alive. It was painful, but we didn't have to suffer through it. Swetha talks about past controlling, codependent behavior when she was unable to accept her loved ones way of living their life. She now realizes that  those experiences helped to prepare her for finding recovery and acceptance in the Al-Anon program, and that her life is now happy, joyous and free as a result. We agree that changing our attitude to one of acceptance has made our lives more serene, happier, and much more manageable.

Next week's topic is Denial. Please share your thoughts on denial by voice mail at (734) 707-8795 or email


Music from the program

9 comments on “Acceptance – Pilot episode 3

  1. Mark says:

    Awesome stuff guys, we look forward to each episode!

  2. Mark says:

    by the way, how do I download the episode, when I click on “download”, the file streams to my computer. I’d like to download to my dropbox so I can listen on the move with my iPhone with out wi-fi or 3g.

    1. Mark says:

      well,I still need wi-fi or 3g to play off dropbox, but still, how can I download file?

      1. admin says:

        Mark, what works for me on my computer is to “right-click” on the Download link and “Save Link as…”

        I have had the same problem as you trying to download MP3 files to my iOS device. There appear to be at least a couple of apps that will do this. I searched for “mp3 download” in the app store and found some. I haven’t tried any.

        Alternatively, you can subscribe using the Podcasts app, even though we’re not yet in iTunes. Here’s how:

        1. Hold your finger on the “Audio MP3” button under the “Podcast feed” heading at the right, and select “Copy”.
        2. Switch to the Podcasts app, tap on the Search box,
        3. tap again in the box after the keyboard comes up, and click paste.
        4. Tap search, and you will be asked if you want to “Subscribe to Podcast?”

        Now you can control downloading episodes in the Podcasts app.

        If you don’t want to do the copy/paste process, you can also just type in the podcast feed address, which is

        Hope that helps.

  3. Misha says:

    This show was great guys. This time of year is hard for me in regards to accepting where I am in my life but it is also hard for me to accept where my ex-girlfriend who is an alcoholic and drug addict is in her life. As I’ve taken steps toward recovery I find myself angry that she hasn’t. I sometimes get tripped up on the idea of a higher power speaking through me as I feel it happens too me in meetings when I hear exactly what I needed to hear. When I get the yearn to call her and try to urge her to get help I wonder if that is my/her higher power wanting me to say exactly what she needs to hear. Or is it just me trying to control and potentially get myself in the way of her higher power’s will for her. And honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know who’s will it is that I feel like I should call her and try to make her get help. So, I will pause, I will pray, I will call my sponsor, I will try to do something to take care of myself and I will wait until I know. At least that’s the plan. Today I will take it minute my minute. Progress not perfection.

  4. katie says:

    Hey guys,
    I love this. I want to thank spencer for sharing it with me. I feel like i was given a tool to take the program with me where ever i go. Right now that is something i am struggling with right now. Its cool to just turn this on and go. THANKS!

    1. admin says:

      Thanks, Katie. It is heartening to know that our efforts are of value to others.

      If you want us to address a particular topic, just ask.

  5. Heather says:

    Very difficult to hear and understand the conversation with Anne (recorded on the phone).

    1. The Recovery Show says:

      Yes, we were still learning how to do things at this point. Thank you for your feedback.

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