living fully here and now – a meditation

listen!

 

We are not to retreat from life, pinning our hopes on ‘elsewhere,' but to know that we will come to that final destination best by living fully here and now, be it through joy, or pain, or a mix of both.

– Madeleine L'Engle, The Rock That Is Higher

I spent much of my life trying to get fulfillment and happiness from other people. I needed you to be happy so that I could be happy. I needed you to like me so that I could like me. I needed your approval so that I could approve of myself. I needed your attention so that I would not be alone with myself. You were the ‘elsewhere' on which I pinned my hopes.

Through the Steps, I am finding my way to a life that is supported from within me, with the aid of my Higher Power. I have learned that I control my own happiness, and I am not responsible for yours. The love that my Higher Power has for me is helping me to love myself. Through Steps 4-9, I see my strengths and assets, have asked my Higher Power to remove my shortcomings, and am amending my behaviors to a way of living that is consonant with my values. Step 11 is helping me to be comfortable in my skin, and to find serenity in solitude and calm. Through my continuing spiritual awakening, I spend more time living fully in the here and now, more time as myself. I find myself less in need of you to define who I am, and am thus able to enjoy your companionship for what it is, enriching rather than shaping my life.

A meditation for September 19, 2013.

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The Family Afterwards, part 2 – Speaker talk


Bob and Linda B. speak in Reykjavik, Iceland in 2004, on how the programs work in their family. They trade off during this two part talk, speaking of their experience, strength, and hope through the 12 steps. Part 2 takes us through the rest of the steps.

Step 8 – Episode 35

peace at sunsetIf you are struggling with guilt and resentment over your actions in the past… If you aren’t ready to make amends to someone… If you think that you deserve an amends before you make one… You’ve come to the right place. Keep listening as we discuss STEP 8.

Kelli, Spencer, and Swetha share our own experiences with Step 8, as we try to address these questions and others:

How do you decide if you have “harmed” someone? (what was the act? why did we do it? What were the consequences?)
Have you made a list? How did you go about it? (use your 4th step?)
How do you “become willing” to make amends?
What if there are people you are not willing to make amends to?
Can you be willing to become willing?
What about people who owe you amends?
Did you make it onto your list? Why is it important to include yourself?
What is the difference between willingness and actually making the amends?
What part does honesty play in this process?
Did you review your list with anyone before planning amends? Did they make any suggestions to you? What did/ could you learn from them?
Does your HP get included in this step?

This episode was our first experiment at live broadcast through Mixlr.com. Join us on Monday, August 12, at 6PM EDT (2200 GMT) as we record our next episode on self-acceptance and self-esteem. You can listen to our raw, unedited conversation, and interact with us and other listeners in the chat room. Just click on the “listen live” link to the right. If you “Follow” us on Mixlr, you will automatically receive an email notification when we start broadcasting.

Our topic for next week is self-acceptance and self-esteem. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Sponsorship Round Table – Episode 32

If you just want to do recovery all by yourself… If having a sponsor sounds frightening… If you’d like to have a sponsor, but you don’t know how to get one… Then keep listening as hosts Mark, of Recovered, and Kelli, of The Recovery Show, lead a joint round table about sponsorship. In this conversation with Mark and Kelli are Jason, Russ, Spencer, and Swetha.

Our round table was sparked by a voice mail from Bronte in Australia. She leads us into questions such as: What is Sponsorship? Why is it important? What to look for? What to watch out for? How do you develop trust? How do you get a sponsor?

Joe, from California, asks about changing sponsors. He wonders about questions like: Does changing sponsors mean giving up on the program? Is changing sponsors a bad thing? What might be a bad reason for changing a sponsor? May a newcomer change sponsors?

We also hear from Liz, in Florida, who recently changed her sponsor, raising these questions: How do you know when to change sponsors? What if you are not clicking with your sponsor? How do you break up with a sponsor?

During our discussion, we talk about our experiences being sponsored and sponsoring others in our fellowships. We address questions like these: How does sponsorship help the sponsor? Can any member be a sponsor? How do you get a sponsee? When is a member ready for sponsorship responsibility? What does a sponsor do and not do? What if you are asked for advice? Is there any one best way of sponsoring a newcomer? Is it possible to get too attached to a sponsee?

This is also episode 426 of Recovered.

Our topic for next week is compassion. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

working through grief – a meditation

past-present-future-sign1

 

Awareness. Acceptance. Action.

 

I have been thinking about how I “work the steps” on my grieving. The “3 A's” of awareness, acceptance, and action give me the key. As I begin to become aware of my grief, I admit my powerlessness, and believe that my higher power can help me to move through it. This is encompassed by steps 1-3.

I look more closely at what it is that I am grieving, and make a searching inventory of its sources and manifestations. This is step 4 and brings me to complete awareness.

Next, I must admit these things to my Higher Power, to myself, and to another human being. By talking about it, I both make it real and lessen its hold on me. This is step 5, and it begins to move me into acceptance. I have admitted my grief out loud, and begin to own it as mine, rather than as some outside force that is making me miserable.

I pray for acceptance and for the readiness to have it removed, knowing that I may have to live through sadness, pain, anger and other feelings before it is “gone”. This is Step 6, and completes my acceptance.

Finally, I can take action of a sort, by asking my Higher Power to “remove” the power that my grief has over my daily life. The grief itself may never be completely gone, but I will come back to serenity, no longer tormented by it. This is Step 7.

A meditation for July 4, 2013.

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