In all our affairs: Step 1 plus dementia – Episode 265

Let it go – autumn colorStep 12 asks us to “practice these principles in all our affairs”. This has led me to a new insight into how Step 1 is active in my life today.

In a recent meeting, we read the Step 1 chapter from our book Paths to Recovery. I had recently returned from visiting my parents. I suddenly realized that if I substituted the word “dementia” for “alcoholism”, that the step took on new relevance to my life.

I got a suggestion for a topic of miracles or maybe coincidences. How have you experienced miracles or coincidences as messages from your higher power? Big or small? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com and share your experience, strength, and hope.

The producer of the podcast Recovered suffered a computer failure, and is asking for support to buy a new computer so he can continue to produce the podcast. If you have found value in Recovered, please consider making a donation at recoveredcast.com/donation.
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Controlling Behavior – Episode 207

thinkingDo you believe you can control another person’s drinking? Or maybe all of their behavior? What consequences have your attempts to control led to?

I recently started working the steps with an AWOL group (A Way Of Life). In our first meeting, we agreed to address the first 5 questions about Step 1 in the book Paths to Recovery. (Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.)

  1. Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior?
  2. How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?
  3. Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?
  4. How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
  5. What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?

Upcoming topics include “the 3 P's: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis”. We will also be addressing more questions from Paths to Recovery: How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond? What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else? How can I let go of another's problems instead of trying to solve them? Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one? In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people? In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else's behavior?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Adult Children of Alcoholics – Episode 203

Did you grow up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family? How has this affected your life today? How can you recover from your childhood experiences?

The ACA or ACOA program was created in the 1970s by a group of Alateen members who needed a program that focused on recovery from their experiences growing up in alcoholic or dysfunctional families. It is a separate 12-step program similar to, but separate from Al-Anon. Emily joins Spencer to explore how ACA is different from but also works together with Al-Anon in her recovery.

Our conversation was guided by these questions.

  • What is ACA?
  • How is it different from Al-Anon?
    • The focus of Al-Anon is on adult issues or spousal drinking, vs childhood issues in ACA.
  • What is the “laundry list”? (http://www.adultchildren.org/lit-Laundry_List)
  • How is the first step of ACA different? (http://www.adultchildren.org/lit-Steps)
    • “We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.”
    • Why is this important?
  • How do ACA meetings differ from Al-Anon meetings?
    • Inclusion
    • No crosstalk
  • How are they the same?
    • Common topics
  • How has ACA helped you recover?
  • What would you say to someone who is considering attending ACA?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Step 1: Powerlessness and Power – Episode 160

DSC_5353What does it mean to be powerless? How can admitting powerlessness give you power over the unmanageability of your life?

Spencer and Tom, joined virtually by Sara and Gerrie talk about Step 1, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and our lives had become unmanageable.

  • Why is it difficult to admit my powerlessness?
  • How do the effects of alcoholism make my life unmanageable?
  • What is my “First Step story”?
  • What keeps me holding on to the illusion that I have the power to change someone else?
  • How do I determine I am powerless over someone else’s behavior?
  • Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does/did that change how I interact with the drinker?
  • How do I react when others refuse to be or do as I wish?
  • What would happen if I stopped trying to change others? ]
  • How can I let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them?
  • Do I say “yes” when I want to say “no”? What happens to my ability to manage my own life when I do this?
  • How can admitting powerlessness lead me to new power?
  • How does Step 1 help me let go of blame and shame?
  • What tools do I use to find serenity when my life seems unmanageable?

Upcoming topics include another “gift of Al-Anon”. “Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Stepping Stones to Serenity – 1 – Episode 158

 

StonesThis is part 1 of a 4-part seminar titled “Stepping Stones to Serenity”, presented by Ellen C in 2008. This part covers steps 1 through 3.