Fourth Step Inventory – Episode 149

DSC_5860Have you done a fourth step inventory? How did you do it? Join Mike S. and David M. as they lead a workshop on using the 4th step inventory worksheets, based on the process described in the “How it Works” chapter in the AA Big Book.

There are 4 worksheets, corresponding to the 4 inventory categories listed in the Big Book: resentments, fears, sex conduct, and harms to others. Each worksheet has 4 or 5 columns to be filled in, one column at a time.

For example, in the worksheet for fears, the first column is headed “What am I afraid of?” In this column, I might list financial insecurity, (negative) judgement by others, people not liking me, etc. I should finish this column before moving on. The second column heading asks “Why do I have the fear?”. I might say “because I never seem to have as much money as I want” in the first row, and so on. The 3rd column is titled “Which part of self have I been relying on that has failed me?” It has sub-headings “self-reliance”, “self-confidence”, “self-discipline”, “self-will”, and a blank space to enter other parts of self, if these don’t fit your case. In my first row, I might check “self-reliance” and “self-discipline”. In the second and third, I will clearly mark “self-confidence”. The fourth column asks “What part of self does the fear affect?”, and has these subheadings: Self esteem, pride, emotional security, pocketbook, ambitions, personal relations, and sex relations. Again, I will fill these in from top to bottom. In the first row, I check self esteem, emotional security, pocketbook, and ambitions. In the second, self esteem, pride, and personal relations. And so on.

The other worksheets are arranged similarly. In each, you fill in columns from top to bottom, as completely as possible, before moving on to the next column. Mike and David work through several examples, and provide explanations of what some of the words and concepts mean to them. Members of the audience chime in with suggestions and questions. I feel that I have a better understanding now of how I could use these worksheets, having listened to their presentations.

Our topic for next week is meditation. Do you meditate? How? Does the idea of sitting still and thinking of “nothing” just seem impossible? Are there are other ways to meditate? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

 

Intimacy – Episode 141

Family-1Intimacy requires dialog, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity; it is sustained through well-developed emotional and interpersonal awareness; it comes from a center of self-knowledge and self differentiation; and it evolves through reciprocal self disclosure and candor.

Spencer recently was a speaker at an open panel meeting titled “The Effects of Alcoholism and Addiction on Intimacy and Sexual Relationships”. Hear his sharing about how his ability to be intimate was damaged by alcoholism, and how he is rediscovering intimacy in recovery.

Tom and Grace also attended the panel, and we talk about what we expected, what happened, and how it touched us.

Grace shares her experience as an organizer of the meeting. We recognize that these topics are not ones that we frequently talk about in our meetings. Intimacy and sex are severely affected in alcoholic relationships, and we need to be talking about them more than we do.

One upcoming topic is recovery in divorce. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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