Taking Care of Myself – Episode 89

always in the presentWhen you get sick, do you try to just “keep on going”? When you are overcommitted, do you try to “do it all”? What happens when you do that? Today, I want to talk briefly about taking care of myself.

In Al-Anon, we are told that we need to take care of ourselves first. What does this really mean? How does it change the way we live our lives? This week, I had an opportunity to practice self-care, because I caught a cold. I am pretty sure that this cold was my body’s way of telling me that I needed to slow down a little, that I was trying to do too much in my life, and that my health was being affected by that. I took a couple days off work, although I worked some from home. The big difference was that when I needed to lie down or take a nap, I could. I was also not inflicting my sniffling and coughing, not to mention germs, on my co-workers. Because of the cold, and because of a commitment I had made for the weekend, I was not able to plan for the podcast episode that I had wanted to create this weekend. Instead, I am reflecting on how self-care has been a part of my life this week, and how I had to change my plans to take care of myself.

 

Upcoming topics include trust, Tradition 10, care-taking, and triggers. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

 

 

Tradition 7 – Episode 79

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How is Al-Anon funded? Why don’t we take outside contributions? What if we all lived our lives that way? Tradition 7 states “Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.”

Spencer and Ruth discuss these questions and others as we explore our understanding of Tradition 7.

  • The statement of this tradition is pretty clear. Why do you think we have this tradition?
  • How does Tradition 7 relate to Tradition 6, which says, in part, “Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.”
  • Are there other ways, besides financial, in which our groups are self-supporting?
  • How can I be of service to my meeting(s)? How have I been of service?
  • How do I use this tradition in my personal life?
  • How am I self supporting
    • Financially?
    • Socially?
    • Spiritually?
    • Emotionally?
    • Mentally?
    • Physically?
  • How have I felt when I was dependent on others?
  • Have I expected that “the world” owed me? In what ways? How did I feel? How did I act?
  • How has my self-worth depended on being needed by others?
  • Do I take responsibility for my feelings and my actions? Do I blame others for how I feel?
  • How do I contribute to my own well-being?
  • How can I be fully self-supporting?

Our topic for next week is What does it mean to work the steps?. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Powerless over being helped – a guest meditation by Hillery

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She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah

 

It’s so fitting that I’m working on step one right now.

About a week and a half ago, a stool fell upon my foot. It hurt quite a bit, but after a few days, it seemed fine, so I kept about my normally busy schedule almost ignoring my foot. Well now, I’m actually learning two lessons here. Had I gone to the doctor then, practicing some self-care, I might not be in this mess right now.

This current “mess” is of being powerless. Twenty-four hours ago, my foot was in excruciating pain. This morning, I adopted a pair of crutches from the basement because I couldn’t walk without hurting. So, already, I’m feeling like I have little power over my life. A fucking stool fell on my foot, and now I gotta deal with a house of kids and no way to really control them or anything else. I can’t even walk through a door without difficulty or help. But, I can handle this, right? I can lay down the control a little bit and let someone else take over. What I’m having a hard time accepting is that people will help me how they want to help me, not how I want to be helped. For example, I wanted to take a bath before I went to urgent care and then I wanted the bathroom tidied when I was finished. Instead, I was drawn a bath, helped into the bathtub, and given chocolates and coffee – whether I wanted any of this or not. A kind gesture, no doubt, but not what I wanted. I felt extremely powerless and cried in the bath. I’d just realized how much I was not in control, even of my own bath, and certainly not over the actions of others. I felt like I had to take back some of that control by getting out of the bath by myself, though that could’ve ended badly.

I’ve already admitted that I am not all that great at self-care, but that doesn’t mean I’m great with being taken care of, either. I prefer to do things myself. I feel strong when I can overcome an obstacle and take care of something myself. But, sometimes, I do need help. Today, I learned that when I do ask for help (or even without asking), people will help me in ways that they see fit to help me, not necessarily how (or if) I want to be helped. And, I guess all I can really do is kindly take the help that is given me, and either seek out help for what else I may need help with, do it myself, or leave it undone (like the dishes tonight).

A meditation for October 26, 2013.

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