Knowing myself – Episode 177

Stepping StonesStart where you are. When change comes, as it always does, it helps to know who you are.

  • Why is it important to know “who I am”?
  • What does it mean to know “who I am”?
  • How have the Steps helped me in knowing myself? (Step 4 is the obvious one, but what about the others?)
    • Step 1: starting to break through denial. My image of my life is not realistic.
    • Step 2: Starting to see that I am not the center of the universe, and that I can ask for help.
    • Step 3: Recognizing how much I want “my will”. Making a decision to ask for help, to follow outside direction. How hard it is!
    • Step 4: Looking in detail at myself, admitting my assets and my shortcomings.
    • Step 5: How much I really don’t want to expose my “failings”! How much I fear your judgement.
    • Step 6: Coming to own my inventory. Starting to recognize some of the “why” about what I do (and don’t do).
    • Step 7: Humility: I can be teachable.
    • Step 8: Recognizing the ways in which my shortcomings have caused me to harm others, whether deliberately or by oversight.
    • Step 9: Seeing my shame, my fear of rejection, my fear of judgement. And also my courage and honesty.
    • Step 10: Continuing to know myself more deeply.
    • Step 11: Getting in touch with my own spirit, getting “out of my head”. Who am I when I’m not “chattering” away in my mind all the time?
    • Step 12: Recognizing the ways in which I have awakened.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Continue reading “Knowing myself – Episode 177”

living fully here and now – a meditation



We are not to retreat from life, pinning our hopes on ‘elsewhere,' but to know that we will come to that final destination best by living fully here and now, be it through joy, or pain, or a mix of both.

– Madeleine L'Engle, The Rock That Is Higher

I spent much of my life trying to get fulfillment and happiness from other people. I needed you to be happy so that I could be happy. I needed you to like me so that I could like me. I needed your approval so that I could approve of myself. I needed your attention so that I would not be alone with myself. You were the ‘elsewhere' on which I pinned my hopes.

Through the Steps, I am finding my way to a life that is supported from within me, with the aid of my Higher Power. I have learned that I control my own happiness, and I am not responsible for yours. The love that my Higher Power has for me is helping me to love myself. Through Steps 4-9, I see my strengths and assets, have asked my Higher Power to remove my shortcomings, and am amending my behaviors to a way of living that is consonant with my values. Step 11 is helping me to be comfortable in my skin, and to find serenity in solitude and calm. Through my continuing spiritual awakening, I spend more time living fully in the here and now, more time as myself. I find myself less in need of you to define who I am, and am thus able to enjoy your companionship for what it is, enriching rather than shaping my life.

A meditation for September 19, 2013.

Continue reading “living fully here and now – a meditation”

Self Acceptance and Self Esteem – Episode 36

Do you often judge yourself? Do you internalize the criticism of others?  Are you afraid they are right? Are you unable to like yourself? Then listen as Swetha, Spencer, and special guest host Erika talk about self acceptance and self esteem.

We share our experience, strength, and hope around questions such as these:

What is self acceptance?
How is that different from self esteem?
Where is the line between having self esteem and being an egomaniac?
How can I be self accepting and not in denial about my flaws?
Why is important to have self acceptance or self esteem?
Is self acceptance necessary for healthy self esteem?
How has Al-Anon helped my self acceptance and self esteem?
Can I be self accepting and motivated to change at the same time? How?
How can I have self esteem without being egotistical?
How can the love of my Higher Power help me find self acceptance?

Our topic for next week is juggling vs balance. Do you sometimes feel that you’re trying to keep too many balls in the air at once? Do you hear people talk about a balanced life and wonder what they mean? Do you struggle with too much to do and not enough time to do it all? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

We will be recording episode 37 starting at 10:00 EDT (14:00 GMT), Saturday August 17, 2013. You can listen live at, and interact with us in the chat room as we are recording. If you have an iPhone, iPod or iPad, you will need the mixlr app.
Continue reading “Self Acceptance and Self Esteem – Episode 36”