Perspective – Episode 258

What does it mean to “place our problem in its true perspective”? Can a change in perspective change everything?

    • Our suggested opening says “as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives”.
    • What is perspective?
      • From dictionary.com:
      • the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.
      • the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship: Your data is admirably detailed but it lacks perspective.
      • a mental view or prospect: the dismal perspective of terminally ill patients.
      • a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance
      • the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it; objectivity: try to get some perspective on your troubles
      • Scrabble points: 26
    • Perception and attitude: perception is how i see things. Attitude is how I react. (http://sarahtauber.com/interesting-words/perception-vs-attitude-difference/ )
    • How do I lose perspective?
      • (Over) reacting in the moment.
      • Dramatizing / awfulizing
      • Minimizing (denial)
      • Not looking at “the bigger picture”
    • What happens when I lose perspective?
    • How can I “put things in perspective” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201702/putting-things-in-perspective)
      • Ask yourself what is the cost to you and others of your reaction?
      • Observe and describe rather than judging.
        • HALT (Am I hungry angry lonely, or tired?, WAIT (why am i talking), THINK (thoughtful, honest, intelligent, necessary, kind)
      • What can you still do? (Serenity prayer, first things first)
        • Pause
        • Serenity prayer
      • Ask how you will feel in a week? A month? A year?
        • Regret, shame, guilt? 8th step list?
        • How important will this seem in the future?
      • Consider it as an inconvenience instead of the “end of the world.”
      • “Rational” comes from “ratio” — consider proportion
    • Making crisis work for us (https://al-anon.org/blog/affairs-making-crises-work/ )
      • Breaking through denial
      • Slowly rising awareness
      • Sudden revelation
    • TED talk “transformative power of classical music”  — Story (from The Art of Possibility) about shoe salesmen in Africa, opportunity, and perspective. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LCwI5iErE\
    • Program tools
      • Serenity prayer
      • Let go and let God
      • How important is it?
    • Quotes: https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspectives and https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/different_perspective

Readings

How Al-Anon Works:

  • Chapter 16: Tradition 1
  • Part 2, Chapter 16, “A Nun finds Spiritual Peace”
  • Part 2, chapter 31, “Letting Go of a Loved One’s Alcohol, Drug, and Money Problems”

Courage to Change

  • January 27, “sometimes dirty dishes are just dirty dishes” (How Important is it?)
  • June 24 — “It wasn’t much of a day for egg-laying, but it was a great day for music!”

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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peace – a meditation

 

Don't let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.

Kimberley Jones

I do not fully agree with this quote. I definitely agree with the first sentence: “don't let people pull you into their storm”. And I love that  it says “their storm” and “my peace.” I feel like that immediately gives me a clear understanding of what is in my hula hoop. Whatever the other person is going through is not my responsibility and is not something I need to internalize. It is their storm, and I do not need to take part in it or be pulled into it. I can choose to remain in my peace.

The part of the quote that I disagree with is “pull them into your peace.” For me, I believe that what I might see as a storm is simply my interpretation of a storm. That is to say, it just doesn't work for me. It might be a situation that is totally different for the other person. I believe that it is up to each person to decide what defines peace for them.  What I consider a storm, someone else could consider peace. And what might be peace for me, might be a storm for others.

So, instead of “pull[ing] others into my peace,” I think it is more accurate to state (as per my experience) that I stay in my peace and offer the other person compassion and support. This is often tricky for me. I forget easily that offering compassion and support is about being of service to my fellows. So, it is important that I do not force my idea of compassion or support onto others, which is the same as “pulling them into my peace.” Instead, I can offer my support by asking how I can be of service.

Today, I will choose not to be pulled into another person's storm. Instead, I will remain in my peace and offer compassion and try to be of service to my Higher Power and to my fellow.

A meditation for July 23, 2013.

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