The eagle soars away into the sky
And yet he never plumbs the depths of space.
The four seasons give place to one another,
Yet never seem to have an end or a beginning.
When the one dry tree on the hill is blown down
By the timely wind, what can one do?
“Song of the Golden Elephant” in Mudra: Early Poems and Songs by Chögyam Trungpa, page 31
By Shambala Publications
Consciously working on my third step again “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him”, especially this morning as I put the results of my daily efforts in my Higher Power's hands. “May your will be done”, I repeated, as I got up and carried on with my day. Especially because I am beginning to write the first article I will ever write as a professional, and I feel scared. The above excerpt from a poem eased my pain, visualizing how everything changes in an infinite continuum, a continuous loss and gain through the changing seasons of my life and the universe.
I lost the key to my gym locker this morning and I have to pay a fee I do not want to pay to replace it. I felt a sense of loss about not being able to trust myself sometimes when I am distracted. I stopped a moment, held my head with both my hands, and felt the subtle pain of loss through my body. I repeated to myself a quote from Courage to Change “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands.” ~Richard Bach. Then I got up, did what I had to do, and carried on with my day.
Life does not go as I expect it when I let go and let god, but it goes as is best for me. I don't understand what gifts are wrapped withing my problems and challenges, but I trust those gifts are richer than I expect. I am willing to enjoy soaring into the sky, adapting to the ever changing seasons of life. Every time that life asks me to face my fears and myself, I want to feel my feelings and let go, one day at a time.
A meditation for March 29, 2014.