Seeing Clearly – Episode 157

I see you“Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth.”

Our sight, once clouded…

  • Implies impaired vision
  • Only able to see a short distance
  • Lacking perspective
  • Denial
  • Paradoxically living in the future
  • Guilt
  • Overcompensation
  • I had a very narrow vision, everything was black or white, all or nothing
  • Conflict or disagreement was threatening, I did not understand collaboration.

And confused…. How was I confused?

  • Impaired thought processes,
  • Clouded reality also makes me think of the four M’s: martyrdom, manipulation, mothering and managing
  • I was a fixer and manager, I thought that would help the situation
  • I believed I was responsible for everything, I had to do everything for my family
  • I had no understanding of boundaries, healthy relationships, how to nurture them,
  • Any feedback or criticism was interpreted as a direct assault
  • Others came first, always
  • I did not value myself
  • I did not believe myself loveable
  • Believing that I needed to control everything and everyone
  • Believing I had control over people, places, and things
  • Not seeing how my life, my behavior, my attitudes had been affected by this disease.

We will be able to perceive reality

  • We climb out of the clouds one step at a time
  • This is part of the process, it becomes clearer the more we work the steps and use the tools of the program
  • As I work the steps, I become more able to perceive reality
  • Decluttering my mind and life prepares me for future growth

We will be able to recognize truth

  • This is a spiritual concept.  We are spiritual beings, not just beings.
  • Recognize the truth of who and what I am – both positive and negative.
  • I can only do this when I believe in a higher power that I can count on to care for me
  • Looking at parts of myself that I don’t like requires it being balanced with acknowledging my assets
  • Like a tight rope walker with a balancing pole, have to put equal weights on either side or they will fall.
  • On the other hand, this cleared vision allows me to see the behaviors of those in my life for what they were – sometimes lies, sometimes attempts at manipulating me, unnecessary or inappropriate judging coupled with condescension, sometimes attempts at preserving the status quo as I was changing,
  • Allowed me to recognize the truth that my loved ones suffered from an addiction and deserved love and compassion, regardless of what choices I made for myself or what stage of their addiction they were in.

Readings in this episode are from the Al-Anon book Discovering Choices.

This is the third episode in a sequence on the “Gifts of Al-Anon“, which are described on pp. 268-9 of the book From Survival to Recovery.

Upcoming topics include Step 1 “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.” How have you found power in admitting your powerlessness? How was (is) your life unmanageble? How does this step help lead you into recovery? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Worthy of Love – Episode 148

DSC_0476We will discover that we are both, worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return.

  • What does this mean to you?
  • If you had read or heard this statement when you had just arrived in Al-Anon, what would you have thought of it?
    • would you have made sense of it at all?
    • would you have believed it could be true for you?
    • Did parts of that statement seem true already? Which parts and why?
  • What does it mean to you
    • To be worthy of love?
    • To be worthy of loving?
    • To love without losing yourself?
    • To accept love?
  • As you have traveled your recovery path, how has your understanding of this statement changed?
    • Are there parts you thought were true that you came to see were not true?
    • Did parts of it start to make sense?
    • Did you find a deeper understanding of parts of it?
    • Did you see that this was true of others in the program, and come to want it for yourself?
  • How do you see this gift coming true in your life today?
  • What progress do you still look forward to?
  • What would you say to a newcomer who can’t believe this could ever come true in their own life?

Upcoming topics include meditation and recovery while traveling. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Joy, Fulfillment and Wonder – Episode 144

4490727456_8e816c6c02_bDo you have joy in your life? Do you feel fulfilled? Are you finding these gifts in recovery? Or are you still waiting for them to come?

In this first episode in a series, we explore a “Gift of Al-Anon“.

We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.

Spencer and Brooke explore how this gift is appearing in their lives, guided by these questions.

  • If you had read or heard this statement when you had just arrived in Al-Anon, what would you have thought of it?
    • would you have made sense of it at all?
    • would you have believed it could be true for you?
    • Did parts of that statement seem true already? Which parts and why?
  • As you have traveled your recovery path, how has your understanding of this statement changed?
    • Are there parts you thought were true that you came to see were not true?
    • Did parts of it start to make sense?
    • Did you find a deeper understanding of parts of it?
    • Did you see that this was true of others in the program, and come to want it for yourself?
  • How do you see this gift coming true in your life today?
  • What progress do you still look forward to?
  • What would you say to a newcomer who can’t believe this could ever come true in their own life?

Upcoming topics include recovery in divorce. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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ego – a meditation

 

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.
Eckhart Tolle

When I was early in my program of recovery, someone once told me that I am not my feelings, I am not my thoughts. I remember thinking “what the heck does that mean??” I had not yet understood that all of my fears, judgments, thoughts, and emotions are part of my ego and I am more than my ego. My ego is how I learned deal with the world. Beneath that, there is my soul. On the soul level, I do not try to process the world through emotions and fears. Instead, I feel connected to it. I am part of it. That is the part of me I try to connect to when I reach out to my Higher Power through prayer and meditation. I try to accept and be a part of and connected to rather than setting myself aside as less than or better than. Instead, I can just be and allow my surroundings to just be.

Today, in recovery, I will try to accept my environment rather than try to judge it. I sometimes forget that my Higher Power communicates with me through people and situations whether or not they are tied to a program of recovery. Today, I will try to remember that and treat every situation, whether as I judge it as good or bad, as a gift from my Higher Power.

A meditation for July 30, 2013

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