Fear of Financial Insecurity – Episode 236

find meDo you dread mail from your bank?
Are you anxious about paying the bills?
Can you see a “way out” of your financial situation?

  • What is my experience?
  • Ignoring the problem
    • We’re just fine.
    • Just use the credit card.
  • Cash advances
  • Balance transfer
  • Borrow from parents.
  • Take money from retirement (is this amends?)
  • Can I win the lottery??? (no)
  • Refinance the house.
  • Worry, anxiety, can’t sleep.
  • The problem is drinking — too expensive.
  • Bankruptcy?  No! Not an option!
  • Bank balance anxiety…
    • Don’t check it.
    • But be afraid of the envelope (later, the text message)
    • Step 6/7 — ask for help, and receive it.
  • How to recover? How to not be anxious all the time?
  • Sobriety helped, but not the only answer.
  • Make a plan to pay off credit card balances.
  • Tradition 7
  • General Warranties of the Conference In all proceedings the World Service Conference of Al-Anon shall observe the spirit of the Traditions:
    1. that only sufficient operating funds, including an ample reserve, be its prudent financial principle;
  • Where am I today?
    • Credit cards at zero.
    • Loans taken to pay off credit cards almost zero.
    • Home line of credit is the next target.
    • Student loans — refinance for lower interest. 5 years to go.
    • We were able to recarpet our home from savings, not credit!
    • But it took time.

Upcoming topics include parenting. In particular, if you are the parent of an alcoholic or addict, we'd love to hear your fears, experience, strength, and hope. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com. Or just leave a comment right here.

Readings

Courage to Change, Dec 11

How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 31 “Letting Go of a Loved One’s Alcohol, Drug, and Money Problems”

Continue reading “Fear of Financial Insecurity – Episode 236”

I didn’t get sober for this shit – Episode 212

What are you discarding from your life in your recovery? What are you keeping? And what do you want to add?

I recently found a blog post titled “I didn't get sober for this shit.

I related to it in so many ways, and I'll share a few with you in this episode. I'd love to hear how you connect. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “I didn't get sober for this shit – Episode 212”

Fear, Faith, and Surrender – Episode 187

Steve L shares his thoughts about fear, faith, and surrender in this AA talk.

What did this talk bring up for you? What thoughts do you have? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Fear, Faith, and Surrender – Episode 187”

Feelings – Episode 169

conflictHave you ever felt controlled by your feelings? What feelings could you identify in the past? How do you balance feelings and facts?

  • Were you able to identify feelings (before recovery)?
  • What did you feel?
  • Did you feel?
  • Did you think that certain feelings were “good” and others were “bad”?
  • Did it seem you had to act on/react to your feelings?
  • How did you deny/push down/hide from feelings?
  • Have you heard the saying, “feelings are not facts”?
  • What does it mean to you?
  • How do you use it now?
  • Have you found a “feeling vocabulary” in recovery?
  • How do you respond to feelings now?
  • How are you able to feel, but act from your head?
  • How can you accept that you have feelings, and that they do not have to control your actions?
  • How have your feelings changed?
  • What slogans or tools help you to deal with how you feel?
    • Let go and let God.
    • This too shall pass.
    • Just for today.
    • One day at a time.
    • Easy does it.
    • First things first.
    • Prayer and meditation.
    • Inventory
  • How have you become more aware of and able to feel?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Feelings – Episode 169”

Fourth Step Inventory – Episode 149

DSC_5860Have you done a fourth step inventory? How did you do it? Join Mike S. and David M. as they lead a workshop on using the 4th step inventory worksheets, based on the process described in the “How it Works” chapter in the AA Big Book.

There are 4 worksheets, corresponding to the 4 inventory categories listed in the Big Book: resentments, fears, sex conduct, and harms to others. Each worksheet has 4 or 5 columns to be filled in, one column at a time.

For example, in the worksheet for fears, the first column is headed “What am I afraid of?” In this column, I might list financial insecurity, (negative) judgement by others, people not liking me, etc. I should finish this column before moving on. The second column heading asks “Why do I have the fear?”. I might say “because I never seem to have as much money as I want” in the first row, and so on. The 3rd column is titled “Which part of self have I been relying on that has failed me?” It has sub-headings “self-reliance”, “self-confidence”, “self-discipline”, “self-will”, and a blank space to enter other parts of self, if these don't fit your case. In my first row, I might check “self-reliance” and “self-discipline”. In the second and third, I will clearly mark “self-confidence”. The fourth column asks “What part of self does the fear affect?”, and has these subheadings: Self esteem, pride, emotional security, pocketbook, ambitions, personal relations, and sex relations. Again, I will fill these in from top to bottom. In the first row, I check self esteem, emotional security, pocketbook, and ambitions. In the second, self esteem, pride, and personal relations. And so on.

The other worksheets are arranged similarly. In each, you fill in columns from top to bottom, as completely as possible, before moving on to the next column. Mike and David work through several examples, and provide explanations of what some of the words and concepts mean to them. Members of the audience chime in with suggestions and questions. I feel that I have a better understanding now of how I could use these worksheets, having listened to their presentations.

Our topic for next week is meditation. Do you meditate? How? Does the idea of sitting still and thinking of “nothing” just seem impossible? Are there are other ways to meditate? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.