Fear, Faith, and Surrender – Episode 187

Steve L shares his thoughts about fear, faith, and surrender in this AA talk.

What did this talk bring up for you? What thoughts do you have? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Feelings – Episode 169

conflictHave you ever felt controlled by your feelings? What feelings could you identify in the past? How do you balance feelings and facts?

  • Were you able to identify feelings (before recovery)?
  • What did you feel?
  • Did you feel?
  • Did you think that certain feelings were “good” and others were “bad”?
  • Did it seem you had to act on/react to your feelings?
  • How did you deny/push down/hide from feelings?
  • Have you heard the saying, “feelings are not facts”?
  • What does it mean to you?
  • How do you use it now?
  • Have you found a “feeling vocabulary” in recovery?
  • How do you respond to feelings now?
  • How are you able to feel, but act from your head?
  • How can you accept that you have feelings, and that they do not have to control your actions?
  • How have your feelings changed?
  • What slogans or tools help you to deal with how you feel?
    • Let go and let God.
    • This too shall pass.
    • Just for today.
    • One day at a time.
    • Easy does it.
    • First things first.
    • Prayer and meditation.
    • Inventory
  • How have you become more aware of and able to feel?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Fourth Step Inventory – Episode 149

DSC_5860Have you done a fourth step inventory? How did you do it? Join Mike S. and David M. as they lead a workshop on using the 4th step inventory worksheets, based on the process described in the “How it Works” chapter in the AA Big Book.

There are 4 worksheets, corresponding to the 4 inventory categories listed in the Big Book: resentments, fears, sex conduct, and harms to others. Each worksheet has 4 or 5 columns to be filled in, one column at a time.

For example, in the worksheet for fears, the first column is headed “What am I afraid of?” In this column, I might list financial insecurity, (negative) judgement by others, people not liking me, etc. I should finish this column before moving on. The second column heading asks “Why do I have the fear?”. I might say “because I never seem to have as much money as I want” in the first row, and so on. The 3rd column is titled “Which part of self have I been relying on that has failed me?” It has sub-headings “self-reliance”, “self-confidence”, “self-discipline”, “self-will”, and a blank space to enter other parts of self, if these don’t fit your case. In my first row, I might check “self-reliance” and “self-discipline”. In the second and third, I will clearly mark “self-confidence”. The fourth column asks “What part of self does the fear affect?”, and has these subheadings: Self esteem, pride, emotional security, pocketbook, ambitions, personal relations, and sex relations. Again, I will fill these in from top to bottom. In the first row, I check self esteem, emotional security, pocketbook, and ambitions. In the second, self esteem, pride, and personal relations. And so on.

The other worksheets are arranged similarly. In each, you fill in columns from top to bottom, as completely as possible, before moving on to the next column. Mike and David work through several examples, and provide explanations of what some of the words and concepts mean to them. Members of the audience chime in with suggestions and questions. I feel that I have a better understanding now of how I could use these worksheets, having listened to their presentations.

Our topic for next week is meditation. Do you meditate? How? Does the idea of sitting still and thinking of “nothing” just seem impossible? Are there are other ways to meditate? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

 

Living with Lies – Episode 132

vultureDo you obsess over the thought that your loved one might be lying? Do you have to prove the lies? How do you find the ability to trust in recovery?

Julia joins Spencer to talk about lies, guided by these questions.

  • How have you been lied to (in relationships with an alcoholic or addict)?
  • How have you lied to yourself?
  • How did you react to lies prior to recovery?
    • Did you become angry? withdraw?
    • Did you deny them? Ignore them?
    • Did you make excuses for your loved one’s behavior?
    • What else?
  • Can you see your loved one’s lies as a symptom of the disease?
  • What tools have you used to stay “sane” when you are lied to? How?
    • Detachment?
    • Boundaries?
  • When does lying become a “deal breaker”?
  • How do you rebuild trust in your loved one?
  • Are there things you still can’t trust about them or your relationship?

Upcoming topics include the 4 L’s, listen, learn, let go, and love; and Concepts of service 11 and 12. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Triggers – Episode 92

grasshopperDo words and events throw you into your past? Do you get angry when it’s inappropriate? What are triggers and how do they affect us?

Spencer and Akilah talk about our experience of triggers and how the 12 steps have lessened their impact on our lives. We had a few basic questions to guide our conversation:

  • What does “trigger” mean to you?
  • What triggers have you recognized in yourself?
    • How do you react to these triggers?
  • How has the program helped you to reduce or eliminate your triggers?
    • Taking an inventory?
    • Finding acceptance?
    • Making amends?
    • Trusting in my Higher Power?

Harriet and Julia also shared some of their experience with being triggered by voice mail and email.

Harriet talked about a book by Charles Whitfield, A Gift to Myself: A Personal Workbook and Guide to “Healing the Child Within”, and particularly mentioned a chapter titled “Visiting my Family of Origin”.

Upcoming topics include “Is it caretaking or healthy support?” and Tradition 11, which says “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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