Resentment – Episode 196

Do you hold a grudge? Why is this harmful? How can our program help let go of our resentments?

  • What is a “resentment”?
  • Why is it a problem?
  • Where do you find your resentments stem from?
    • Anger at a past injury?
    • Others not doing things “your way”?
  • One method of working Step 4 (“searching and fearless moral inventory”) starts by listing resentments.
    • Why do you think that is?
    • Why can this be a useful way of digging into our inventory?
  • The book How Al-Anon Works talks about resentment in the chapter titled “Detachment, Love, and Forgiveness”.
    • How do these tools help relieve our resentments?
    • What other tools do you use?
    • Gratitude
    • Inventory
    • Taking a fresh look — maybe the behavior has changed and I don’t recognize it

Upcoming topics include Alateen, Parenting, and Obsessive Thinking. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Al-Anon Slips – Episode 191

What does it mean to relapse in Al-Anon? Have you had an Al-Anon slip? What did you do to recover?

  • What is a “slip”? Is it just another word for “relapse”?
  • What do you think an “Al-Anon slip” is?
    • How do you know if you’re having (or if you had) one?
    • In AA, it’s “obvious”, but in Al-Anon, it’s more subtle.
  • What kinds of slips can you identify?
    • Controlling
    • Enabling
    • Emotional
    • Making another person your HP
  • Relate a story about a slip you had
    • A big one?
    • A little one?
  • How did it feel the same as before recovery?
  • How did it feel different?
  • What program tools did you use to recover from your slip?
  • How do you / can you detect that a slip is imminent and what can you do to prevent it?
    • What tools/slogans help?

Upcoming topics include obsessive thinking. How does your obsession with others behavior (such as drinking) make your life unmanageable? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

In response to a listener question, we suggested episode 78: Stay or Go?
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Expectations – Episode 186

Do you have unrealistic expectations of other people? Or, maybe, of yourself? How does this hurt?

  • What are “expectations”?
  • “Expectations are pre-meditated resentments” — how do you see this as true?
  • How can expectations set you up for disappointment?
  • How do your expectations of yourself hurt you?
  • How do you deal with other people’s expectations of you?
  • How do you
    • let go of unrealisitic expectations?
    • set realistic / reasonable expectations and boundaries?
  • When has letting go of expectations improved an experience for you?

Eric referred to several other websites:

A correspondant mentioned the Hand in Hand Parenting support organization and how it had helped her.

Upcoming topics include a talk with Alateen sponsors, and the question “how am I trustworthy?” Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Feelings – Episode 169

conflictHave you ever felt controlled by your feelings? What feelings could you identify in the past? How do you balance feelings and facts?

  • Were you able to identify feelings (before recovery)?
  • What did you feel?
  • Did you feel?
  • Did you think that certain feelings were “good” and others were “bad”?
  • Did it seem you had to act on/react to your feelings?
  • How did you deny/push down/hide from feelings?
  • Have you heard the saying, “feelings are not facts”?
  • What does it mean to you?
  • How do you use it now?
  • Have you found a “feeling vocabulary” in recovery?
  • How do you respond to feelings now?
  • How are you able to feel, but act from your head?
  • How can you accept that you have feelings, and that they do not have to control your actions?
  • How have your feelings changed?
  • What slogans or tools help you to deal with how you feel?
    • Let go and let God.
    • This too shall pass.
    • Just for today.
    • One day at a time.
    • Easy does it.
    • First things first.
    • Prayer and meditation.
    • Inventory
  • How have you become more aware of and able to feel?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Choices – Episode 164

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Do we have choices in our lives? What kinds of choices do we have? How have we found choices in recovery?

Choice Before Recovery

  • Did you feel you had choices in your life?
  • Did it seem like, when you had a choice, it was either/or, with no 3rd possibility?
  • Were you “allowed” to change your mind?
  • How did you make decisions?
    • Little ones? (What to have for dinner, what movie to see.)
    • Big ones? (Which job to take, where to live.)

Choice in early recovery

  • What messages about choice did you hear when you started attending Al-Anon?
  • Was it a surprise to hear that you had choices? That you had more than 2 alternatives?
  • What did you hear about making choices to take care of yourself?
  • What if you didn’t know which answer was the “right” one?

Choice now

  • What tools of the program can you use to help you make a choice?
  • Which slogans are helpful?
  • How do you use prayer and meditation in making decisions?
  • How can taking inventory help?
  • Have you found that you can choose your attitude? Acceptance? Gratitude?

Upcoming topics include sadness. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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