Do you believe all things happen for a reason? Do you believe that God can do for us things that we can’t do for ourselves? Do you believe in coincidence, or that there is no such thing as coincidence?
What “higher power moments” have you experienced? (Step 2 moments) What happens when you view them as miracles rather than coincidences? When have you said “I have no idea how that happened?” (and were grateful for it!)
Today, we're talking about miracles, coincidences, and belief. We share some of our own and some of yours. We might follow this outline:
Definitions of “miracle”
a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.
a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences.
How have you enabled your loved ones’ alcoholism? What is enabling, anyway? How do you know when you’re doing it and when you are empowering them, instead?
What does the dictionary say?
1 a : to provide with the means or opportunity: training that enables people to earn a living
b : to make possible, practical, or easy: a deal that would enable passage of a new law
c : to cause to operate: software that enables the keyboard
2 : to give legal power, capacity, or sanction to: a law enabling admission of a state
From Urban Dictionary
Shielding a person from the consequences of a destructive behavior; Allowing a person's destructive behavior to persist by managing or minimizing the ill-effects of the behavior.”Enabling” vs. “Empowering”Enabling: supporting a person's behavior that (repeatedly/habitually) instigates a negative or destructive resultEmpowering: supporting a person's ability or effort in a positive or progressive endeavorEnabling can be as destructive as the behavior itself . . . a person enabling a destructive behavior is motivated by their need to do so and is gratified by reinforcing their superiority or control over that person; An “enabler” holds a person in an inferior state by denying them the motivation to change and therefore, the opportunity to grow.
What does enabling mean to you? How does that relate to the definitions we just read?
Did you understand/head you heard of enabling before you came to Al-Anon?
What are some ways in which you have enabled others' dysfunction/addiction/behavior?
How can we (especially as parents) distinguish between supporting, helping, empowering, and enabling?
Can we look at our motivations, expectations, fears?
Let Go and Let God
How Important is it?
Detaching with love
Clarity: “mine or not mine?”
“When in doubt, don’t”
Serenity prayer (knowing the difference)
What are healthy ways to be supportive without enabling?
What does freedom mean to you? What freedom have you found in recovery?
Eric suggested this topic, and we were loosely guided in our conversation by this outline.
Definition of freedom? Many definitions…
Do I believe that freedom only comes from being in control of my life?
What does it mean to me (now) that “freedom can only come from acceptance”?
The blog “Through an Al-Anon Filter” says If I want peace, I must give my program away to others. If I want growth, I must give up my belief in my own “rightness.” If I want serenity, I must give up self-will, and be open to my Higher Power. If I want freedom, I must give up my need to control. … If I want real, lasting change, I must give up my safe misery.
(How) do I understand this in my life?
Concept Three The Right of Decision makes effective leadership possible.
We have the right to decide, to make choices. This is a powerful idea and one that many of us may have lost sight of growing up in families that were dysfunctional.
“When I began studying Concept Three, I found the answer. It wasn’t alcoholism that bothered me. It was someone taking away my right of decision.” Reaching for Personal Freedom p. 132
What freedom(s) have I found in recovery?
Free to live my life. I don’t have to follow the whims and wishes of my loved one (I can choose to do so, but I don’t have to.)
Free to take care of myself (instead of my loved one).
Free to grow.
Free to laugh.
Free to make choices.
Free to know myself.
Free to let go of the past (but not wish to shut the door on it).
Free to find gratitude in the little (and the big) things, even when some part of my life sucks.
I am becoming Free FROM;
Dependence (on others)
Expectations (of others)
I am become FREE TO;
Live and Let Live
Let It Go
Surrender without giving up
Say No (and feel good about it)
Detach, with love
Allow consequences to happen
Love, not need
Feel, without fear
Say what I mean
To be wrong
Laugh more (Promise 12)
Who knew!? (as my sponsor said yesterday when I read him my list… 😊)
We want to be “happy, joyous, and free”
Upcoming topics include is talking to young children about recovery. Also parenting in all its aspects. And, violence by the “Al-Anon” in a relationship. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email email@example.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Continue reading “Freedom – Episode 241”