Do you QTIP? Have you practiced the 3 A's? Spencer and Eric, with support from many listeners, talk about some of the acronyms (such as HALT or FEAR) and alliterations (3 C's, 4 M's) that help us to remember the important principles of the program. As Eric says, “these are like pocket change — they're easy to pick up and use.”
Do you believe all things happen for a reason? Do you believe that God can do for us things that we can’t do for ourselves? Do you believe in coincidence, or that there is no such thing as coincidence?
What “higher power moments” have you experienced? (Step 2 moments) What happens when you view them as miracles rather than coincidences? When have you said “I have no idea how that happened?” (and were grateful for it!)
Today, we're talking about miracles, coincidences, and belief. We share some of our own and some of yours. We might follow this outline:
Definitions of “miracle”
a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.
a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences.
How have you enabled your loved ones’ alcoholism? What is enabling, anyway? How do you know when you’re doing it and when you are empowering them, instead?
What does the dictionary say?
1 a : to provide with the means or opportunity: training that enables people to earn a living
b : to make possible, practical, or easy: a deal that would enable passage of a new law
c : to cause to operate: software that enables the keyboard
2 : to give legal power, capacity, or sanction to: a law enabling admission of a state
From Urban Dictionary
Shielding a person from the consequences of a destructive behavior; Allowing a person's destructive behavior to persist by managing or minimizing the ill-effects of the behavior.”Enabling” vs. “Empowering”Enabling: supporting a person's behavior that (repeatedly/habitually) instigates a negative or destructive resultEmpowering: supporting a person's ability or effort in a positive or progressive endeavorEnabling can be as destructive as the behavior itself . . . a person enabling a destructive behavior is motivated by their need to do so and is gratified by reinforcing their superiority or control over that person; An “enabler” holds a person in an inferior state by denying them the motivation to change and therefore, the opportunity to grow.
What does enabling mean to you? How does that relate to the definitions we just read?
Did you understand/head you heard of enabling before you came to Al-Anon?
What are some ways in which you have enabled others' dysfunction/addiction/behavior?
How can we (especially as parents) distinguish between supporting, helping, empowering, and enabling?
Can we look at our motivations, expectations, fears?
Let Go and Let God
How Important is it?
Detaching with love
Clarity: “mine or not mine?”
“When in doubt, don’t”
Serenity prayer (knowing the difference)
What are healthy ways to be supportive without enabling?