Maria – Beyond Recovery – Episode 185

How do you use recovery in your life?

Join Spencer and Maria as they explore how she has found a new way of living, beyond recovery.

Before coming to recovery, Maria’s life was “good enough.” The tools she gained in the Al-Anon program have enabled her to face two major life choices, and to decide to make a huge change in her direction.

How about you? What does your life look like, beyond recovery? Please contact us: call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

A listener was helped by the meditation “A god of my understanding.”

Choices – Episode 164

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Do we have choices in our lives? What kinds of choices do we have? How have we found choices in recovery?

Choice Before Recovery

  • Did you feel you had choices in your life?
  • Did it seem like, when you had a choice, it was either/or, with no 3rd possibility?
  • Were you “allowed” to change your mind?
  • How did you make decisions?
    • Little ones? (What to have for dinner, what movie to see.)
    • Big ones? (Which job to take, where to live.)

Choice in early recovery

  • What messages about choice did you hear when you started attending Al-Anon?
  • Was it a surprise to hear that you had choices? That you had more than 2 alternatives?
  • What did you hear about making choices to take care of yourself?
  • What if you didn’t know which answer was the “right” one?

Choice now

  • What tools of the program can you use to help you make a choice?
  • Which slogans are helpful?
  • How do you use prayer and meditation in making decisions?
  • How can taking inventory help?
  • Have you found that you can choose your attitude? Acceptance? Gratitude?

Upcoming topics include sadness. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Right of Decision – Episode 110

StairsDo you have trouble letting others make decisions? Do you second guess your own decisions? Spencer and Akilah discuss the “right of decision”, as expressed in Al-Anon’s 3rd concept of service, “The right of decision makes effective leadership possible.”

  • What is “the right of decision?”
  • How do we use the right of decision in the program?
    • Example from Spencer’s home group: the “chair” chooses the person who gives the lead each week.
    • GR, delegates to assembly, etc.
  • How do we use the right of decision in our own lives?
    • From Paths to Recovery (pg. 265): “In our own lives, the right of decision means we have the right to proceed in the best way we know and to ask for help when it is needed.”
  • How does this concept connect with Tradition 2? (For our group purpose there is but one authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants—they do not govern.) With Step 3? (Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.)
  • Can I make a decision and be comfortable with it? If not, why not?
  • Do I ever ask someone to do a task and then try to direct the details of how it should be done? If so, how can I change this pattern?
  • The 3rd concept section of the AA 12, 12 and 12 study guide starts with the statement “We serve by acting on our conscience through our “Right of Decision” and we trust others when they exercise their ‘Right of Decision.”
  • Am I acting in any area of my life that is contrary to my own conscience?
  • Am I mistrustful of the decisions of others in authority over me?
  • Am I demanding that anyone else act contrary to their conscience in order to please me?
  • From Paths to Recovery: Is [concept three] not letting go and letting God?


Reference: 12, 12 and 12 study guide on Concept 3: http://1212and12.org/homework/concepts/1212and12_concept_3.pdf

Upcoming topics include parenting, caretaking, and fun. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Stay or Go? – Episode 78

DSC_5860Are you in a relationship with an alcoholic or addict? Have you ever thought, “My life would be so much easier without this person?” Have you wondered how you could ever leave them? Today, we have 4 personal stories from individuals who faced that hard question, Stay or Go?

Spencer starts with his experience. He struggled for years with that question. When he came into the program, he was grateful to hear that he should not make any big decisions in his first year. It took a couple of years and some hard work to decide to stay in his alcoholic marriage.

Ruth was in her relationship for a long time before she came to see that he was an alcoholic. She found Al-Anon then. After some more time, she realized that she could not continue in that relationship and made the hard decision to end it.

Jennifer has stayed with her alcoholic husband, so far. She has hope that he will find long-term sobriety, but fears for the effects of his drinking on their young children if he cannot.

Julia recently ended her relationship with her alcoholic boyfriend. She came to see that the relationship was not healthy for her, and that she could not stay.

 

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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Made a Decision – Episode 67

20130814-130029.jpgI’ve titled today’s episode Made a Decision. I am going to relate my the story of my journey to and through Step 3, “Made a decision to turn our will and our live over to  the care of God as we understood God.” I started from unbelief, was told to “act as if”, found willingness, and eventually surrendered. But still, I must give my will over on a daily basis, because I continue to try to take it back.

  • My Story
    • What is this “God” thing of which you speak?
    • How can I turn my will and my life over to something I don’t believe in?
    • “Act as if”
    • Letting go of my loved one’s recovery (or lack thereof)
    • The meeting and the program as my HP
    • A later understanding of surrender — just going to meetings
    • Unmanageability as motivation
    • Evidence of God working in my life
    • Growing willingness
    • Surrender
    • God suggests — sometimes I listen
    • Daily practice
  • What holds me back?
    • My intellect
    • Fear (of losing control)
    • Desire for my outcome
  • What pushed me forward
    • Clear unmanageability of life
    • Seeing it work — when I listened
    • My will has often led me into trouble
  • Change requires changing — letting go of old ways — I can’t do it alone

Our topic for next week is Forgiveness. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

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