Cooperation and balance – Episode 135

do all the thingsDo you try to do “all the things” by yourself or do you work in cooperation with others? How do you keep balance and serenity while moving forward? Can Concepts 11 and 12 help answer these questions?

Concept 11: The World Service Office is composed of selected committees, executives and staff members.

  • How does this concept help ensure that the work of Al-Anon is accomplished?
  • How does this concept help ensure that no one person is overloaded with tasks?
  • What does this concept teach me about delegation? About turning things over?
  • How can I bring this concept into my family?
  • What “committees” might my family have?
  • Who are the “executives” of the family? What are their roles? Do those roles ever change?
  • Who are the “staff members” of the family? How are they fairly compensated for their work?
  • How can me “taking control” make a bad situation worse?
  • How does this concept help me to pause and assess a situation before I react?
  • What is my purpose? In life? In my family? In my job?

Concept 12: The spiritual foundation for Al-Anon’s world services is contained in the General Warranties of the Conference, Article 12 of the Charter.

General Warranties of the Conference

In all proceedings the World Service Conference of Al-Anon shall observe the spirit of the Traditions:

  1. that only sufficient operating funds, including an ample reserve, be its prudent financial principle;
  2. that no Conference member shall be placed in unqualified authority over other members;
  3. that all decisions be reached by discussion vote and whenever possible by unanimity;
  4. that no Conference action ever be personally punitive or an incitement to public controversy;
  5. that though the Conference serves Al-Anon it shall never perform any act of government; and that like the fellowship of Al-Anon Family Groups which it serves, it shall always remain democratic in thought and action.
  • What are the spiritual principles embodied in these Warranties?
    • Prudence, humility, substantial unanimity, personal responsibility, avoidance of controversy, mutual respect, and equality.
  • How do I practice prudence in my financial affairs?
  • Are there other areas in my life in which I could practice prudence?
  • Can I keep an “ample reserve” of all that I need? Money, energy, serenity, etc?
  • What is authority? Do I ever assume unqualified authority?
  • Can I listen to all sides before making a decision?
  • What is substantial unanimity?
  • Can I keep principles above personalities?
  • Do I like to stir things up?
  • How is my family democratic in thought? In action?
  • How can I use all the concepts to live my life more fully and well?

Our topic for next week is new topic. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Cooperation and balance – Episode 135”

Al-Anon Dreams – Episode 123

TapestryDo you dream of relapse? Of recovery? Of loss of control? What are your Al-Anon dreams? Join us as Spencer, Jane, Akilah, Pat, and Brooke share some dreams.

Dreams: what are they? From the shared experience in this episode, I think that our “Al-Anon” dreams might fall into these broad and overlapping categories:

  • Reliving scenes from the past that still have a hold on us.
  • Working through fears of the future.
  • Living a “wished for” experience.
  • Making desires and fears concrete.

As you listen to these dream experiences, how do you connect to what we share? Have you had dreams like these? How has your dreaming changed in recovery?

Upcoming topics include intervention, parenting, and Concepts. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Al-Anon Dreams – Episode 123”

Cause, Cure, Control – The 3 Cs – Episode 81

We are told that “we didn’t cause it, we can’t cure it, and we can’t control it.” The 3 C’s capture our powerlessness. What does this mean for us, what does it mean for the ones we love who are caught in this disease?

  • What are “the 3 C’s”?
    • We didn’t cause our loved one’s alcoholism or addiction.
    • We can’t cure it.
    • We can’t control it.
  • When did you first hear about them?
  • What did you think then?
  • How did you feel?
  • Why are they important?
  • How do they express our powerlessness over alcohol?

We’d love to hear your questions or experience about these upcoming topics:

  • Caretaking or healthy support?
  • Suffering – What does it mean when we say “pain is inevitable but suffering is optional”?
  • Tradition 8 – Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Continue reading “Cause, Cure, Control – The 3 Cs – Episode 81”

Codependency – Episode 66

If you put your loved one’s needs ahead of your own… If you feel that others’ happiness is your responsibility… If your response to “what do you want for dinner” is “what do you want?”  … Then you’ve come to the right place, because today, we’re going to talk about codependency.

Spencer took this one solo, trying to follow this rough outline:

  • Wikipedia says “Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”
  • Did you have any understanding of codependency before you came into recovery? Had you even heard of it?
  • When did you first hear of codependency? What did you think it meant then?
  • How has your understanding of codependency changed?
  • In what ways do you have codependent behavior?
  • How have you recovered from your own codependent behavior? What program tools do you use?
  • How do you deal with other people’s codependent behavior?
    • In your family?
    • With friends?
    • With co-workers?

Upcoming topics include Tradition 4, forgiveness, and how to take recovery with you when you travel. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Continue reading “Codependency – Episode 66”

Communication – Episode 56

siblingsDo you have trouble communicating your needs and feelings to your loved ones? Do your attempts to ask for what you want always degenerate into an argument? How have you learned to communicate better in this program? Today, Spencer, Maria and guest host Meishia talk about Communication.

We started with this list of questions.

How did you communicate in your relationships before you came to the program?
What special challenges to communication have you faced/seen in alcoholic relationships?
Which of these communication skills did you have then / do you have now? Listening attentively and openly. Stating your needs clearly. Using “I” statements.
Which of these communication problems did you have then / have you reduced or eliminated? Accusatory or judgemental statements. Expecting others to “read your mind”. Emotional reaction. Escalation to argument or fight
What are “I” statements?  Why would you want to use them? How can they help to enhance communication and avoid emotional escalation?
Are you aware of the non-verbal signals you send?

A well-written contribution from Adrienne sparked our conversation, and we just rolled on from there.

Our topic for next week is face to face meetings – why are they important? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Communication – Episode 56”