Maria – Beyond Recovery – Episode 185

How do you use recovery in your life?

Join Spencer and Maria as they explore how she has found a new way of living, beyond recovery.

Before coming to recovery, Maria’s life was “good enough.” The tools she gained in the Al-Anon program have enabled her to face two major life choices, and to decide to make a huge change in her direction.

How about you? What does your life look like, beyond recovery? Please contact us: call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

A listener was helped by the meditation “A god of my understanding.”

Choices – Episode 164

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Do we have choices in our lives? What kinds of choices do we have? How have we found choices in recovery?

Choice Before Recovery

  • Did you feel you had choices in your life?
  • Did it seem like, when you had a choice, it was either/or, with no 3rd possibility?
  • Were you “allowed” to change your mind?
  • How did you make decisions?
    • Little ones? (What to have for dinner, what movie to see.)
    • Big ones? (Which job to take, where to live.)

Choice in early recovery

  • What messages about choice did you hear when you started attending Al-Anon?
  • Was it a surprise to hear that you had choices? That you had more than 2 alternatives?
  • What did you hear about making choices to take care of yourself?
  • What if you didn’t know which answer was the “right” one?

Choice now

  • What tools of the program can you use to help you make a choice?
  • Which slogans are helpful?
  • How do you use prayer and meditation in making decisions?
  • How can taking inventory help?
  • Have you found that you can choose your attitude? Acceptance? Gratitude?

Upcoming topics include sadness. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Rediscovering Myself – Episode 163

bluemoonDid alcoholism erase you? How did you find yourself in recovery? Who are you? What do you want? Do you know now?

  • In what ways did I lose myself “before program”?
    • Focus on the alcoholic
    • Taking care of others before myself
    • Belief that others must participate in everything — I can’t do something if my partner doesn’t want to.
    • Isolation and withdrawal from life / activities
    • Expectation that my loved ones would read my mind
    • Expecting others to make me happy
  • What messages did I first hear in Al-Anon that started me to rediscovering myself?
    • Take care of myself.
    • Detachment with love.
    • It’s ok to ask for what I want.
  • What have I found out about myself in recovery?
    • Things I like (to do).
    • Things I don’t like that I thought I had to like because others like them.
    • New insights into my character
    • New things that I never thought I would like
  • What did I forget about myself that I have rediscovered?

Upcoming topics include choices and sadness. We will also explore the statement “Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.” to see how it has come true for us. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Responsibility and Authority – Episode 102

sing joyouslyDo you take responsibility for your own actions? Do you take on responsibility for the way others live their lives? Do you sometimes try to play God?

Spencer and Akilah talk about responsibility and authority, as set forth in Concepts one and two.

  1. The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Al-Anon World Services Belongs to the Al-Anon Groups.
  2. The Al-Anon Family Groups Have Delegated Complete Administrative and Operational Authority to their Conference and its Service Arms.

The readings in the books Paths to Recovery and Reaching for Personal Freedom include some writings on personal application as well as explanations of how it works on the service level.

  • What do “authority” and “responsibility” mean (to me)? What is the difference?
    • Authority: “the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience.”
    • Responsibility: “the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something” or “taking ownership of my thoughts, words, and actions.”

For concept one

  • For what part of my life am I ultimately responsible? What responsibilities might I share or delegate?
  • How do I contribute to the group conscience?
  • How does this concept help me to keep the focus on myself?
  • How can I learn to trust the decisions of others?
  • When have I assumed responsibilities that are not mine?
  • When have let others take on responsibilities that should have been mine?
  • Can this concept help to me to “Let go and let God”, knowing that I am not the ultimate authority?

For concept two,  the questions are:

  • Why is it important to delegate both responsibility and authority in general? In Al-Anon?
  • Am I able to share responsibility? What responsibility? Am I willing to offer my assistance to others?
  • When do I rely on others? Can I ask for help?
  • What responsibilities in my life could I delegate to someone else?
  • Whom can I trust to be reliable?
  • How does delegating responsibility help to trust the abilities of others?
  • How willing am I to work with others and to consider their ideas? How often do I trust the knowledge an experience of another person? Do I support and encourage others?
  • When delegating how do I define boundaries to separate my responsibility from someone else’s
  • How does my attempt to take charge of everything without delegating keep me from completing the work that needs to be done?
  • For what am I responsible?

A listener emailed some questions. Listen to the show to hear the whole email. We put the questions to you, in hopes that you will share your experience, strength, and hope with our listener.

  • Do any of you out there have any personal experiences setting ultimatums with your addicts that were not respected, acknowledged or met with insult?
  • How have you handled the negativity from your addict, and the anxiety and heartbreak of not knowing if the relationship will ever be restored?
  • What has it looked like for you to practice loving detachment with an intimate partner through a separation or divorce?
  • What is the next right thing to do once a boundary has been communicated?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com. Or just leave a comment right here.

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faith over fear – a meditation

how much love?

 

 

“Today, I am choosing faith over fear”

 

 

Recently, a friend shared in a meeting, saying,

Growing up in an alcoholic home, I learned to fear change. I have lived my life in fear. Fear has driven my decisions. Because of fear, I thought I had no choices. Today, I know that I do have choices. Today, I do not have to have fear as my constant companion. Today, I can choose faith over fear.

I did not grow up with alcoholism, but I have often let fear drive my life. I have stuck to a job, even when it’s not the right one for me, because I feared not having a job. Fear of the unknown kept me stuck in the status quo. Almost every major change in my life was forced on me, because I was graduating college, because the funding for my job ran out, or because I was fired. I have ignored opportunities because I feared rejection. I hung in the corner at parties because you might not want to talk to me, or dance with me. Fear has kept me in a cage of my own making.

Recovery is showing me that I can break out of that cage. I can take a chance, I can make a choice for me. When fear tells me to “sit down”, I can reach out to my higher power for the strength to stand up. When fear says “you are worthless”, I can look at myself with eyes opened by my inventory and know it for a lie. When fear says, “you will fail”, I can choose faith instead, and walk into the unknown, confident in the guidance and support of a higher power who loves me and wants the best for me. When pain comes into my life, as it inevitably will, faith says, “this too shall pass.” I have learned that I have a choice, that I can choose faith over fear.

How do you choose faith over fear? When has faith let you move where fear would have rooted you in place? Share your experience, strength, and hope by email to feedback@therecoveryshow.com, by voice mail at 734-707-8795, or use the voicemail button on this page.

A meditation for May 22, 2014.

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