Being Ready – Episode 189

Happiness withinWhy did I come to Al-Anon when I did? Or, to ask it a different way, why didn’t I come sooner? What made me ready?

Why did I come to Al-Anon when I did? Or, why didn’t I come sooner?

  • Not understanding alcoholism.
    • I didn’t grow up with alcoholism
    • I thought my loved one’s behavior was a choice
    • So she just had to fix it.
  • Denying the problem.
    • It was her problem.
    • Not mine.
    • She just needed to “drink normally.”
  • Not seeing the problem.
    • My behavior was out of control.
    • But I couldn’t see that.
    • I didn’t connect my behavior to the alcoholism
  • Resistance
    • Therapists at treatment centers suggested it to me.
    • “Not my problem”
    • 12 steps were off-putting
    • I’m FINE
    • Not relating to the video on codependency
  • Shame and isolation
  • So, what happened?
  • A “moment of clarity”
    • Yet another “friends and family day” at yet another treatment center.
    • “YOU didn’t cause it, YOU can’t cure it, YOU can’t control it.”
    • Recognizing that it was NOT mine to fix.
    • Recognizing that I was miserable.
    • The “20 questions
  • The “last resort”
    • What else is there? What can it hurt to try it? (Al-Anon)
    • Even then, I resisted. When a friend offered to take me to a meeting that night, I said “I need to think about it.”
    • I thought about it for maybe 30 seconds.
  • Did I get here “right on time”?
    • I’m glad I didn’t take longer to get here, anyway.

Upcoming topics include Alateen, slogans, and parenting. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

In this episode, I mentioned the Intimacy open talks from last year.

Several listeners wrote in about Steve L’s talk on fear, faith, and surrender. One asked if there are other talks by him available. I found his talk on the Recovery Radio Network, where there are other talks by people named Steve L. (But I haven’t listened to them to know if they are the by the same person.)

Cause, Cure, Control – The 3 Cs – Episode 81

We are told that “we didn’t cause it, we can’t cure it, and we can’t control it.” The 3 C’s capture our powerlessness. What does this mean for us, what does it mean for the ones we love who are caught in this disease?

  • What are “the 3 C’s”?
    • We didn’t cause our loved one’s alcoholism or addiction.
    • We can’t cure it.
    • We can’t control it.
  • When did you first hear about them?
  • What did you think then?
  • How did you feel?
  • Why are they important?
  • How do they express our powerlessness over alcohol?

We’d love to hear your questions or experience about these upcoming topics:

  • Caretaking or healthy support?
  • Suffering – What does it mean when we say “pain is inevitable but suffering is optional”?
  • Tradition 8 – Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Continue reading “Cause, Cure, Control – The 3 Cs – Episode 81”