Would you rather be right or happy? – Episode 276

sing joyously

  • What is your first thought when you hear this question?
  • Do you believe that “right” is “truth” and that there is only one possible “right answer” (way to do something, opinion about a topic, etc.)?
  • Do you have “black and white” thinking?
    • Why?
  • What would it take to see the world in shades of gray (or colors)?  Red is no more “right” than blue, for example.
  • What does the word “happy” mean in this context?
  • When has holding onto a position hurt more than letting go would have hurt?
  • Is Right and Happy possible?  Sometimes. But in dealing with difficult people, sometimes, it’s just not worth the fight, conflict, escalation…
  • A lotta references to “conflict” and controversy are relevant in readings, and traditions, as well as arguments.
  • Can you “Live and Let Live” even if you are “right”?
  • Have you come to learn that most times, “urgent things are seldom Important, and Important things are seldom urgent”? (calling 911 for a paper cut…)
  • Slogans
    • How Important is it?
    • This Too Shall Pass
    • Is It Worth My Serenity?
  • Perspective episode also comes to mind, and First Things First… And Force vs Power
  • Sayings;
    • QTIP
    • Don’t
      • Take the bait
      • Pick up the rope
      • Be a willing participant in a toxic dance
    • “I don’t need to win anything today…”

Readings and Links

We opened with a reading from Courage to Change, October 29. We also mentioned the June 3 reading.

We read from How Al-Anon Works on dealing with conflict (p. 98 in the soft cover edition), and Eric read about acceptance from …In All Our Affairs, p. 96.

We were inspired by a Psychology Today article Right vs. Happy. And Eric ended with a quote from Chief Joseph.

Coming next

Our topic for next week is new topic. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email
feedback@therecoveryshow.com
with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Continue reading “Would you rather be right or happy? – Episode 276”

Communication – Episode 56

siblingsDo you have trouble communicating your needs and feelings to your loved ones? Do your attempts to ask for what you want always degenerate into an argument? How have you learned to communicate better in this program? Today, Spencer, Maria and guest host Meishia talk about Communication.

We started with this list of questions.

How did you communicate in your relationships before you came to the program?
What special challenges to communication have you faced/seen in alcoholic relationships?
Which of these communication skills did you have then / do you have now? Listening attentively and openly. Stating your needs clearly. Using “I” statements.
Which of these communication problems did you have then / have you reduced or eliminated? Accusatory or judgemental statements. Expecting others to “read your mind”. Emotional reaction. Escalation to argument or fight
What are “I” statements?  Why would you want to use them? How can they help to enhance communication and avoid emotional escalation?
Are you aware of the non-verbal signals you send?

A well-written contribution from Adrienne sparked our conversation, and we just rolled on from there.

Our topic for next week is face to face meetings – why are they important? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Communication – Episode 56”