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Would you rather be right or happy? – Episode 276

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What is your first thought when you hear this question?
Do you believe that “right” is “truth” and that there is only one possible “right answer” (way to do something, opinion about a topic, etc.)?
Do you have “black and white” thinking?
- Why?
What would it take to see the world in shades of gray (or colors)? Red is no more “right” than blue, for example.
What does the word “happy” mean in this context?
When has holding onto a position hurt more than letting go would have hurt?
Is Right and Happy possible? Sometimes. But in dealing with difficult people, sometimes, it’s just not worth the fight, conflict, escalation…
A lotta references to “conflict” and controversy are relevant in readings, and traditions, as well as arguments.
Can you “Live and Let Live” even if you are “right”?
Have you come to learn that most times, “urgent things are seldom Important, and Important things are seldom urgent”? (calling 911 for a paper cut…)
Slogans
- How Important is it?
- This Too Shall Pass
- Is It Worth My Serenity?
Perspective episode also comes to mind, and First Things First… And Force vs Power
Sayings;
- QTIP
- Don’t
  - Take the bait
  - Pick up the rope
  - Be a willing participant in a toxic dance
- “I don’t need to win anything today…”

Readings and Links

We opened with a reading from Courage to Change, October 29. We also mentioned the June 3 reading.

We read from How Al-Anon Works on dealing with conflict (p. 98 in the soft cover edition), and Eric read about acceptance from …In All Our Affairs, p. 96.

We were inspired by a Psychology Today article Right vs. Happy. And Eric ended with a quote from Chief Joseph.

Coming next

Our topic for next week is new topic. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email
feedback@therecoveryshow.com
with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Continue reading “Would you rather be right or happy? – Episode 276”

Kate C grew up with alcoholism – Episode 275

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Kate C shares her story, experience, strength, and hope. She grew up with an alcoholic mother, in a family that separated when she was 8. She didn't feel safe as a child and so decided she needed to take care of her siblings, especially her younger brother. The “isms” she learned in this environment came with her into adulthood and almost destroyed her relationship with her boyfriend, which finally brought her to Al-Anon. She says that Al-Anon has given her the coping skills her parents never taught her. It helped her to put a space between herself and her defects. She is finding “God in the pause.” Now, she and her husband work their own programs, and can check in with each other and have a little meeting whenever they feel the need.

Readings and Links

Kate read from Courage to Change, January 13.

She mentioned an online Skype meeting, Sundays at 7PM Eastern European Time. You can get information to join the meeting by emailing sundayalanononline@gmail.com.

A listener wrote that the books A Beautiful Boy and Tweak have been made into a movie, also titled A Beautiful Boy, which is available on Amazon Prime Video.

Coming up

Our topic for next week is would you rather be right or happy? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Kate C grew up with alcoholism – Episode 275”

Mary Pearl T on Step 6 – Episode 274

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What does it mean to be “entirely ready”? How can we trust our higher power to remove our defects of character?

Mary Pearl T continues her workshop with Step 6, Became entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character.

How is her anger like a volcano? And why is she talking about towing cars?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

The Year in Recovery 2018 – Episode 273

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I hear from you about what happened in your recovery in 2018, and what you are aspiring to in 2019.

Readings and links

I read from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, January 1 and December 31.

Callers and I referred to several episodes of this podcast:

219, 3 P’s: Perfection, Procrastination, Paralysis
29, Progress, not Perfection
231, Begin in Stillness
78, Stay or Go?
242, Don't React
120, Authority and Responsibility

A correspondent mentioned the “Obstacles to Success in Al-Anon“. While looking for this text, I found an online meeting called A Serenity Place.

Contribute to the show

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “The Year in Recovery 2018 – Episode 273”

Peace in the Darkness – Episode 272

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Do you feel that you are lost in the dark? Do your fears become larger and more real in darkness? Can darkness ever provide comfort and peace?

My musings on darkness were inspired by but don't really follow this outline:

End of the year
Shortest day / longest night
Darkness -> fear/anxiety
We light candles, fires, or decorate trees and houses with lots of lights to drive away the darkness.
We also find comfort and peace in the quiet dark.
We sleep in the dark.
Darkness of the tomb.
Darkness of the womb.
When do we fear the dark?
- We can’t see what is around us, threatening us.
- We can’t see the way out/forward.
- Shadows and shapes become monsters.
When is darkness welcomed?
- When we want to sleep.
- To hide away the annoyances of our life.
- So we can see the stars.
- We close our eyes to meditate or pray so we are not distracted.
- I can open myself up to others because I don’t have to see their reaction and they can’t see mine.
When I was living with alcoholism but without recovery, life seemed very dark. I could not see a “way out”. And in the actual darkness, in the quiet of the night when I couldn’t sleep, my problems, my anxieties, my fears, my hopelessness were magnified. They were monsters coming out from under the bed, from the closet, to attack me. In that time of my life, darkness was not a friend, darkness was to be feared.

Readings

One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, March 3.

How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 38.

Our topic for next week is twofold: How did recovery work in your life this year? And what aspirations and intentions do you have for the coming year? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Peace in the Darkness – Episode 272”