Trust and Trustworthy – Episode 228

Do you have trouble trusting other people? Do you have people you trust?  How do you know they are trustworthy?

  • What is trust?
    • firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. (
  • Do you have or have had trouble trusting other people?
  • Do you have people you trust?  How do you know they are trustworthy?
  • Do you have a Higher Power you can trust?
  • What is the difference between trust and faith or is there a difference?
  • If we developed an ability to trust, how have we done that?  with meetings?  the program/steps?  the tools? slogans? (I find that each of these has a role in developing trust).
  • Can you trust yourself?
  • Can others trust you?
  • When I don’t trust someone what am I feeling?
    • Fear.
    • Fear of being judged – ties in with perfectionism, low self esteem, unloveable
    • Fear of being hurt – emotionally, physically, intentionally and unintentionally.
  • Trust to me is having the confidence that another person is not going to harm me intentionally.
    • Sometimes the lack of trust is an issue on my side of the street
    • Sometimes the other person has not shown themselves to be trustworthy
    • Often I would assume that I couldn’t trust someone to be thoughtful of me because of my past experiences or my way of thinking.
  • Slogans / Tools for building trust:
    • One Step/Day at a Time (Tincture of Time)
    • Act as If in less important situations
    • Keep an Open Mind (helps with jumping to conclusions, esp. About negative intent)
    • Let it begin with me
  • Building others’ trust in me
    • Traditions – learning to co-exist with others
    • Concepts – learning to work in an organization

Upcoming topics include parenting, being the sober parent, and being the parent of an addict or alcoholic. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Five Years of Recovery – Episode 227

The first episode of The Recovery Show was posted to the internet on Dec 10, 2012. It’s hard to believe that we are now 5 years and 227 episodes in. What has 5 years of podcasting meant to me? What has it meant to you?

  • How did it happen?
    • 6 years ago — the only “podcasts” I listened to were NPR shows like “Car Talk” and “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me”.
    • I first heard about recovery podcasts from my friend Mark, who produces “Recovered”
    • I asked him to be my sponsor in early 2012, and he said “would you like to be in my podcast?”  I had to think about it!
    • Started guest hosting in Recovered Spring 2012.
    • Said “we should do an Al-Anon episode”. Mark responded “You should do an Al-Anon podcast!” What?!
    • Thought about it. Talked to some friends about it. Decided to give it a try.
    • Early December 2012, Kelli, Swetha, and I recorded our first “pilot” episode with a conversation about boundaries. The audio quality was not good, but we decided to post it anyway.
    • I bought some microphones and a mixer, and by episode 4, we decided it was no longer a “pilot.”
    • During the next 11 months we consistently had 3 hosts for each episode, and sometimes an additional guest.
  • Changes!
    • In October, 2012, Kelli and Swetha decided they could not continue with the podcast.
    • What to do!?
    • Episode 47, “Changes” records my reaction, as I tried to draw on my program tools, and move forward.
    • I was challenged to find co-hosts, because I thought I needed to keep the conversational format we had developed in the preceding 11 months.
    • Bringing in remote co-hosts.
    • First remote co-host in episode 55 with Ruth from Germany!
    • First solo episode: 66 “codependency”.  Challenging myself to do it differently, feeling insufficient.
    • Later feedback is that people like both formats.
  • Struggles
    • Consistency: format, schedule
    • Finding co-hosts
    • Keeping track of requests and offers!
    • Expectations — particularly what I expect you expect of me!
  • Gratitudes
    • That Mark suggested it
    • That Kelli and Swetha were consistent co-hosts, co-creators in the first year.
    • For all of you who express your gratitude to me.
    • For all of you who contribute your ESH to the show.
    • Especially for those who have co-hosted, or who have offered to co-host, even when I lost track of your offer.
    • To Ruth and Akilah, who were my co-hosts for the Traditions and Concepts episodes.
    • For your questions and topic suggestions.
  • How has my recovery benefited?
    • I have to “dive deep” into a recovery topic almost every week.
    • I have to move outside my comfort zone, to reach out to co-hosts and ask them for the gift of their time.
    • The “Step 10 inventory” aspect of “our week in recovery”.
  • What now?
    • Keep on as we have done?
    • What changes would you like to see?
    • Episode formats: conversation, solo, speaker.  What else?

Upcoming episodes include 3 parenting topics: being the sober parent in an alcoholic marriage, parenting an addict or alcoholic child, and parenting in general. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Your Gratitude 2017 – Episode 226

I asked you to share your gratitude with me. Many of you did so, and this episode highlights your voices and your gratitudes.

I also put together a playlist on Spotify, included below, that doesn’t even scratch the surface of the songs about gratitude and thankfulness. I’m sure I missed your favorite, so please email your suggestion (or comment below).

Next week’s episode will mark 5 years of The Recovery Show. I will be looking back over the last 5 years. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Parenting as an Adult Child of Alcoholics – Episode 225

  • What challenges have you found, as an adult child of an alcoholic, in parenting your own children?
  • What program tools have you used, and how have they helped?
  • What is your biggest challenge now?

Several listeners shared their experience around these and similar questions.

Some challenges were

  • Not controlling.
  • Anger
  • Impatience
  • “Hurt people hurt people”

And some tools for better parenting include these:

  • Step 10 — apologize and make amends to our children.
    • Demonstrate humility and honesty — see it in the children
  • Tradition 11 — let it begin with me (attraction rather than promotion)
  • Tradition 1 — unity — guard against dominance — not about “me” but about the family
  • Tradition 2 — a trusted servant (a trustee) to the children — they have their own higher power
  • Tradition 4 — autonomy except where it affects others
  • Tradition 10 — no opinion on outside issues — let the child dress how she or he wants to dress
  • Tradition 7 — self supporting — allow children opportunity to be self supporting to build dignity, respect, responsibility.
  • Concepts of service — shared responsibility (co-parenting)
    • We love the presentation in the Reaching for Personal Freedom workbook, because it helps us understand how we can use the Traditions and Concepts in our own lives, in our families, and other relationships.
  • Step 11 — “I don’t own my children, God owns them” — need knowledge of God’s will.
  • Easy does it
  • How important is it?
  • Detaching with love.
    • “Don’t argue with alcoholics, toddlers, and terrorists.”
    • Let them express emotions without needing to change them
  • Sharing program with children.
  • “What am I hurt about?”
  • Pause — the “Al-Anon breath”

Our topic for next week is gratitude. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email to share something you are grateful for today.
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Gratitude – Episode 224

As we approach the US holiday of Thanksgiving, I naturally think about the things I am grateful for. What are you grateful for?

Here are some things I am grateful for

  • That I have a program of recovery.
  • Our dog is a sweetheart, so loving.
  • That my adult children choose to spend time with me and share their life with me.
  • Although it snowed Thursday evening, on Friday morning it was sunny and pretty.
  • That, as a sponsee reminded me, I have a roof over my head, a furnace that works, and a warm blanket.
  • That you share your experience, strength, and hope with me and with the other listeners of this podcast. You make the podcast better and stronger by your presence.

What are you grateful for? Call or email with one thing you are grateful for this year, this month, or just today. Or, if you wish, share a gratitude list with us. I will compile your responses into an episode to be published on the US Thanksgiving weekend (last weekend in November). Please send your contribution by November 25, 2017.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

I read a bit from this Vox article about the Netflix show Jessica Jones, and its depiction of drug use and addiction.