(In)sanity and (Un)manageability – Episode 222

How has the alcoholic situation affected my sanity and my life?

Have I allowed the alcoholic situation to become my Higher Power? How?

How has my thinking become distorted trying to handle the alcoholic behavior?

Spencer reflects on these questions.

How would you answer these questions? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Courage – Episode 220

How have you experienced courage in your recovery? Which steps required courage of you? How has recovery given you courage to change the things you can?

  • We use the word “courage” a lot in this program. Most of our meetings start with the serenity prayer:
    God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    And the wisdom to know the difference
  • What does the word “courage” mean to you?
    • In the past?
    • Now?
  • When were some moments in which you found “the courage to change the things you can”?
    • Coming into your first Al-Anon meeting?
    • Sharing in a meeting?
    • Calling another Al-Anon member?
    • Asking someone to be your sponsor?
    • Setting (and holding to) a boundary?
    • Not enabling your loved one.
    • Taking your 4th step inventory?
    • Sharing your “wrongs” with someone in the 5th step?
    • Making amends?
  • How have you found courage in recovery?
    • Faith and trust in the program, sponsor, higher power.
    • Little steps lead to confidence in bigger steps.
  • Finding the courage live your own life with your authentic truth. (24 hours at a time.)
  • Step 11 “power to carry that out” == courage

Upcoming topics include parenting. As an adult child of an alcoholic, how can you not pass that on to your own children? What have you learned in recovery about being a better parent? Or, alternatively, what is your experience as the parent of an alcoholic or addict? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

A listener called, looking for an e-book version of the Blueprint for Recovery 4th step workbook. To my knowledge, this is not (yet) available in electronic format. Some Al-Anon literature is available as E-Books. A variety of small publications are also available for free download from the Al-Anon website.

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3 P’s: Perfection, Procrastination, Paralysis – Episode 219

Do you find yourself seeking perfection? Do you procrastinate because you can’t achieve it? Or, maybe, you are paralyzed because of it.

We explore the 3 P’s, guided by the questions below and with shares from listeners.

  • How do Perfection, Procrastination, and Paralysis connect to each other?
  • How have I experienced perfection(ism) in my life?
  • How (and why) do I procrastinate?
    • What is the payoff from procrastinating?
  • When do I experience paralysis?
    • What behaviors do I exhibit then?
  • How can I use the “6 P’s”(from our book Paths to Recovery) of Step six?  Thanks to Cleaning Out the Old Toolbox blog for these reflections:
    • Perspective: think of defects of character as “survival skills that no longer serve me”. Since my Higher Power wants more for me than mere survival, I can let them go and trust that I will develop healthy behaviors and thinking.
    • Pain: Whenever the pain of staying the same hurts more than the pain of change, that’s the time when I will be ready.
    • Prayer: My part is to pray for openness & willingness; God’s part is to do the removing.
    • Patience: God gets to choose when and how fast He will remove my defects of character.
    • Process: Quite possibly, this is a grief process of denial, anger, bargaining and depression.
    • Payoff: The bottom line–what am I getting out of holding on to some of these defects of character? What is still good about it?
  • How can I let go of 3 P’s?
    • Slogans
      • Progress, not perfection
      • First things first
      • How Important is it?
      • Do the next right thing.
      • Keep it simple.
      • Easy does it.
      • Let go and let God.
    • Steps
      • Step 4 — identify my character traits
      • Step 5 — be honest about them!
      • Step 6 — become ready to let go of what is not helping me
      • Step 7 — Ask for the help (and practise new behavior)
    • Acceptance that nothing is/will be perfect. Ever.
    • Gratitude

Our upcoming topic is courage. The word courage appears in the serenity prayer, from which the title of one of our daily meditation books was taken: Courage to Change. How have you experienced courage in your recovery? Which steps required courage of you? How has recovery given you courage to change the things you can? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Episodes mentioned in this show are: Episode 203, Adult Children of Alcoholics; Episode 200, Daddy’s Medicine; and Episode 22, Parents’ Roundtable.
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Charlotte I Open Talk – Episode 218

I really enjoyed and connected with this open talk by Charlotte I. I hope you do, too.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.