“We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home.”
-Australian Aboriginal Proverb
Sometimes, when I am stricken with a feeling of panic, sadness, or fear, without realizing it, I let that feeling take me over entirely. I forget about the time before I felt that way and do not let myself realize that there will be a time after. Instead, I focus entirely on that feeling and begin to obsess over it. This quote reminds me that everything is transient. Sadness, happiness, misery, joy – all of this, too, shall pass. Today, I will try to remember that my sadness is with me for only the moment rather than fixate on it. I will also try to remember that my happiness, too, is transient and will enjoy it rather than worry about when it will go.
A meditation for Dec 29, 2012.
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“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Often, especially during the holidays, I find myself regressing to old habits and behaviours when I am around family members with whom I do not regularly interact. These old habits tend to take the form of valuing their happiness over mine and calling that “love” when, in fact, what I am doing is attempting not to rock the boat and then feeling resentful about my choices. This quote reminds me that I cannot give what I do not have. Until I can love and respect myself, I cannot truly love others. Today, I will try to be as respectful of my feelings as I am of the feelings of my loved ones.
A meditation for Dec 28, 2012.
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If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.
– Lao Tzu
I am struggling right now with living in the future. The health of someone I love very much is declining rapidly and visibly. I see this person only a few times a year, and the difference between the last visit, in the fall, and this visit is startling and frightening. I can only envision this path continuing downhill to death, and I am frightened and angry at that prospect. Sharing my fear at a meeting has helped to lessen the anxiety, but it is still there. I know that death is inevitable, and I pray for acceptance of that fact. Perhaps more importantly, I must pray that I am ready when it does come. Only through acceptance and the help of my Higher Power can I return to living in the present. Only then will I again be at peace.
A meditation for December 27, 2012.
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“A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.”
– Maya Angelou
I am reminded that I don't always have to have an answer for the questions in my life. There are times when I must just sit with my questions, awaiting the knowledge of my Higher Power's will for me. But that does not stop me from singing my feelings, whether they are happy or sad. Like a bird, my song expresses my self, not my answers.
A meditation for December 26, 2012.
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… so may we when life turns hard find in love our stay and guard.
… so may we this happy morn honor every child that's born.
… so may we our gifts bestow, whether we be high or low.
… So may we, with heart that sings, share the truth this season brings.
Once in Royal David's City
The lyric “… so may we when life turns hard find in love our stay and guard” captures, for me, the fellowship of our program. I am sustained by the love of my fellow Al-Anon members. In our closing, we say “you will come to love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you.” It is that selfless, unconditional love that I get and I give that provides me the strength and courage to be honest and open with you all. It is that love that supports me in healing. It is that love that keeps me coming back. “So may we, with heart that sings, share the truth this season brings.” In Al-Anon, we can continue to share the truth, and to sing in our hearts all year round.
A meditation for December 25, 2012.
Continue reading “so may we – a meditation”