Denial – Pilot Episode 4

What is denial? How did we experience denial in our lives? What tools have we found to combat it? How is our life better when we accept reality on its own terms? Spencer, Kelli, and special guest Erika discuss these questions and share our experience, strength, and hope on the topic of denial.

Spencer, Kelli and Erika discuss denial. We started with a reading that said, in part “Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minutes to the next. We adapted by taking whatever part of reality suited us and ignoring the rest. Again and again we were devastated because reality didn’t go away just because it was ignored.”

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transience– a meditation


“We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home.”

-Australian Aboriginal Proverb

Sometimes, when I am stricken with a feeling of panic, sadness, or fear, without realizing it, I let that feeling take me over entirely. I forget about the time before I felt that way and do not let myself realize that there will be a time after. Instead, I focus entirely on that feeling and begin to obsess over it. This quote reminds me that everything is transient. Sadness, happiness, misery, joy – all of this, too, shall pass. Today, I will try to remember that my sadness is with me for only the moment rather than fixate on it. I will also try to remember that my happiness, too, is transient and will enjoy it rather than worry about when it will go.

A meditation for Dec 29, 2012.

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Self Love – a meditation


“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

– Buddha

Often, especially during the holidays, I find myself regressing to old habits and behaviours when I am around family members with whom I do not regularly interact. These old habits tend to take the form of valuing their happiness over mine and calling that “love” when, in fact, what I am doing is attempting not to rock the boat and then feeling resentful about my choices. This quote reminds me that I cannot give what I do not have. Until I can love and respect myself, I cannot truly love others. Today, I will try to be as respectful of my feelings as I am of the feelings of my loved ones.

A meditation for Dec 28, 2012.

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peace – a meditation

peace at sunset





If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

– Lao Tzu




I am struggling right now with living in the future. The health of someone I love very much is declining rapidly and visibly. I see this person only a few times a year, and the difference between the last visit, in the fall, and this visit is startling and frightening. I can only envision this path continuing downhill to death, and I am frightened and angry at that prospect. Sharing my fear at a meeting has helped to lessen the anxiety, but it is still there. I know that death is inevitable, and I pray for acceptance of that fact. Perhaps more importantly, I must pray that I am ready when it does come. Only through acceptance and the help of my Higher Power can I return to living in the present. Only then will I again be at peace.

A meditation for December 27, 2012.

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a bird sings – a meditation

fly, bird!



“A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.”

– Maya Angelou


I am reminded that I don’t always have to have an answer for the questions in my life. There are times when I must just sit with my questions, awaiting the knowledge of my Higher Power’s will for me. But that does not stop me from singing my feelings, whether they are happy or sad. Like a bird, my song expresses my self, not my answers.

A meditation for December 26, 2012.

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