Coexisting– a meditation

 

“Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.”

– Bill Nye, the Science Guy

In the past, my instinctive reaction to any difficult situation was to try to take control and “fix it” because I always thought I knew best. One day, I had a disagreement with my partner about what he should do in a certain situation. I thought, since I had been in a similar situation in the past, I knew what was best. He ended up doing what he thought he should do. I mentioned this a a friend and she gently reminded me that I do not know everything and that my priorities are not necessarily the priorities of others.  In the end, the results of his actions ended up being for the best for him. I realize now that I only know what I can do in this moment the is best

A meditation for January 6, 2013.

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Choices – Episode 5

Do we have choices in our lives? What kinds of choices do we have? How have we found choices in recovery? Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer discuss our experience, strength, and hope about finding and making choices in our lives, before and after we found recovery.

Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer talk about choices. In the past, we did not understand that we had choices. Much of the time, we felt that there was no choice. We may have thought that any decision must be black and white, good and bad, or that we must make a decision right away. Much of the time, we felt constrained by the decisions made by others, such as our parents. Spencer talks about making decisions such as what house to buy, where to go to school, with very little thought. He relates that, when he was early in Al-Anon, that he was told that he did not have to make a choice immediately, that he could wait. Swetha talks about feeling that any choice must be a permanent choice, that if she chose chocolate ice cream one day, she was committed to chocolate forever. When Kelli began to understand that she had choices, she found the idea scary.

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Perspective– a meditation

 

Our thoughts form what we believe to be reality.

― Isabel Allende

I recall being extremely unhappy in the past. Interestingly, I did not realize how unhappy I was. Others around me did. I was always complaining. I always managed to find something bad about any situation. To connect with others, I would share painful or negative experiences so that we could wallow in misery together, not to find a solution. I saw life as something for which I just had to grit my teeth and get it over with. When I got into recovery and met people in the program, I saw everyone laughing and joyous. I so wanted to be like them, but I was confused as to how. It is not that they had a “better” life than me. I heard their stories and their shares and they had difficulties in their life as I did. Rather than complain, though, I found they laughed and connected with each other through humor and solution-oriented behavior. They managed to see the good in every situation. As a result, they saw life as an adventure! I slowly learned to change my perspective to be more positive. Now, if it rains outside, I am thankful that I remembered my umbrella rather than cursing the sky. As a result, I am a much happier person and I can see how much there is to appreciate and learn from in my life.

A meditation for January 5, 2013.

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Fate – a meditation

 

“Do not be afraid; our fate
Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift.”

― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

When I resort to controlling behavior or start feeling stressed over a particular situation, I now know that, in those cases, I am focused on the result of the situation. Before recovery, I thought that the only thing that should be focused on is the result and that I should do everything possible to ensure that a certain outcome will be reached. Now that I know that outcomes are not in my power to control. All I can do is keep my side of the street clean and do what is right for me. At first, the idea of outcomes not being in my control terrified me. But, put in practice, I feel relieved and free. It is not my job to make everything happen a certain way. Nor do I know the best way for any situation to occur, because I am not omniscient. Instead, I choose simply to accept the circumstances that are presented to me and either try learn from it or be content with it. Through this perspective, for me, every moment is a gift.

 

A meditation for January 4, 2013.

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