Kelli leads a discussion with Swetha and Spencer about acceptance. Kelli opened with a reading that begins “It is said that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional …” She speaks of her previous belief that accepting something meant thinking that it was right. She has grown into an attitude of patience, acceptance, and tolerance for people in her life. Acceptance is very important to her when she is driving, which she does for her job. Swetha used to ignore or deny behavior that she didn't believe were how they should be, and feared that acceptance would make things real and ok. She has learned that she can accept someone's behavior as real without approving of it. Spencer also used to feel that acceptance meant approval, but now accepting reality lets him find the ways in which he can make his life easier and more serene.
Swetha leads a discussion of powerlessness. We talk about how we understood it (or didn't) before coming to the program and how we understand it now. Each of us discusses situations in which we feel powerlessness and how we recognize it. Kelli says that sometimes recognizing powerlessness can give her power. How can that work? Listen and find out.
Spencer, Kelli, and Swetha discuss boundaries. We all agreed that before coming into the program that we pretty much did not set boundaries, for fear that others would not respect them. Instead we got angry about violations of unstated boundaries and carried those resentments. When we heard talk of boundaries in meetings, we didn't understand how we could make them work. Swetha states “I thought they were something that other people could do, but not me.” We found ways to set healthy boundaries on our own behavior and how we deal with others' unacceptable behavior. We also found it valuable to understand where “we” end and “others” begin, because some of us felt that we were responsible for and had to control everything around us. Boundaries help us to have relationships with “problem” people in our lives, and to keep the focus on ourselves.
This is very definitely a pilot episode. It includes only our discussion of the topic, and has none of the features we intend to eventually include. The recording was done with minimal equipment, but the sound quality is reasonably good despite that. Spencer's voice at the beginning is really loud so turn down your headphone volume before you start playing it.
The topic for our next pilot episode is Powerlessness. We would love to hear your thoughts or questions on this topic. We plan to incorporate listener input into each episode as appropriate. Use the phone number in the upper right of your screen to leave a voice mail, or send us email at email@example.com.