Denial and Acceptance – Episode 253

I deny!Did you admit to yourself or others the presence of alcoholism in your life? Why not? What happened when you broke through your denial into acceptance?

  • What is it?
    • Do we have to be somehow aware of a problem to be in denial?
    • Definition from Merriam-Webster:
      • psychology : a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality
      • — in denial: refusing to admit the truth or reality of something unpleasant; a patient in denial about his health problems
    • Withholding from someone else but more especially from ourselves
  • How did we experience it in our lives?
    • In our alcoholic situations.
    • With aging parents.
    • With our own health.
  • What it the relationship between denial and admitting?
    • We probably have some form of awareness of a problem in order to deny it
    • We must admit a problem exists to start to move out of denial.
  • What tools have we found to combat it?
    • “3 As”: awareness, acceptance, (alternatives,) action.
    • The Steps themselves.
    • Self-awareness (Steps 4 and 10)
    • Listening to my inner voice / gut
    • Support of a Higher Power (Steps 2, 3, 6, 7, 11)
    • Honesty and Courage
    • Compassion
  • How is our life better when we accept reality on its own terms?
    • Serenity
    • Freedom
    • Accurate perception of myself, becoming the person I want to be
    • Catch slips earlier
    • Loss of fear

Readings on denial

How Alanon Works, Chapter Five, Pages 21 and 22

Hope for Today – pages 123 and 138 (May 2, May 17)

“Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth.” From Survival to Recovery page 267, The Promises of Alanon – in Chapter “Joy is our Birthright”

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Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Spencer on Sober Speak – Episode 252

Spencer was recently a guest on the podcast Sober Speak. At Sober Speak, you will find podcasts of people sharing their story of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous, much like a speaker meeting. These men and women tell us about their experience, strength, and hope centered around the 12 steps of AA. Of course, he was telling his Al-Anon story.

John M created Sober Speak because he saw a need. Each episode features one guest telling his or her story, so it's sort of like a series of speaker talks, but in a conversational format.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Spirit in Action Interview – Episode 251

Spencer was recently interviewed on the Spirit in Action radio show and podcast. Spirit in Action brings you stories of people living lives of fruitful service, of peace, community, compassion, creative action and progressive efforts. We will trace the spiritual roots that support and nourish them in their service. Above all, we will seek out Light, Love and Helping Hands, being shared between our many neighbors on this planet, hoping to inspire and encourage you to sink deep roots and produce sacred fruit in your own life.

We talked about how I came to Al-Anon, about how the podcast came to be, and about how we provide healing to people affected by the disease of alcoholism and addiction.

You can listen to Spencer's interview on their website or by subscribing to their podcast.

 

Tom W talk – Episode 250

This talk by Tom W, a member of Alcoholics Anonymous had so much recovery wisdom, I felt compelled to share it with you. I've heard it a few times already and every time, I get new insights. I was astounded to hear that a priest had trouble with Steps 2 and 3. And, his description of how the disease of alcoholism manifested itself in his life is worth the listen. (Originally recorded in 1997.)

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Force and Power – Episode 249

How have you given away your power?

Did you lose power over your life when you tried to force solutions?

How can you recover your personal power?

  • Definitions
    • Force: make a way through or into by physical strength, make (someone) do something against their will
    • Power: the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events
    • Powerful: sturdy, influential, strong, compelling
  • How we give away our power?
    • Enabling
    • Saying yes when we mean no
    • Avoiding confrontation
    • Feeling resentment, bitterness, anger, shame
    • Fighting / taking the bait / picking up the rope
    • Denial
    • Losing track of what is acceptable
    • Not setting boundaries or not keeping them
    • Apologizing for things that weren’t ours to keep the peace
  • Forcing (solutions)
    • March 8, Courage to Change – Easy does it
    • Force is the antithesis of recovery
    • Trying to control drinking
    • Punishing
    • Hollow/idle threats
    • Impossible ultimatums
    • Working the program “hard”?
    • Tom W said “I don’t believe ‘it works if you work it’. I believe it works if you let it.”
  • How do we recover our power?
    • The power we were born with to live our lives with peace and serenity
    • Asking my higher power for help
    • Al-anon Welcome: “… we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives.”
    • How Al-Anon Works, chapter 16 “A Nun finds Spiritual Peace”
    • Use the tools of the program
    • Slogan: Easy does it
    • Let go and let God
    • “I don’t know.”
    • Detaching with love
    • Setting healthy boundaries
    • Saying “no”
    • Saying what we mean without saying it meanly
    • Neutral responses (see page image below)
    • Understanding consequences (mine and not mine)
    • Changing the way I think is real power.

Upcoming topics include parenting a child who is an alcoholic or addict. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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