the truth may vary – a meditation

Though the truth may vary,
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore



Though the truth may vary,
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

Of Monsters and Men — Little Talks



Everyone has their own story, their own truth. In AlAnon, we share our truths, finding our commonalities, and building a ship that will carry us through the storm and chaos of our loved ones' addictions. Truly, “though the truth may vary”, the ship of the program will carry us safely to the shore of recovery.

A meditation for January 9, 2013.

Continue reading “the truth may vary – a meditation”

Love, strength, and courage – a meditation

Lao Tzu on love, strength, and courage: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”




Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

– Lao Tzu


In the suggested Al-Anon closing, it says “… although you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you.” When I first heard this, I didn't know what to think. It seemed a bit corny. But I have found it to be quite true. This love was exhibited in my first meeting, when I mumbled something about my situation and cried, and everybody was silent, letting me say my little bit through my tears and sobs. It was shown by the members who offered me, a stranger, their phone numbers. We see it whenever one of us shares from our own heart, that another member may find a bit of solace and help. From this totally unexpected, unconditional love, came the strength to begin to do the work of the program. And, as I did that work, I found within myself the same love for others. I could feel it in the special peace and serenity that descended on me like a blanket, whenever I walked into a meeting. I could feel it as I identified with someone's sharing. And that love gave me courage. First, the courage of belief in the process. Courage to “change the things I can,” which is only myself. Courage to face those parts of me that I don't like so much. Courage to own them and to ask my Higher Power with acceptance and humility to remove them from me. And the courage to support others in the program through sponsorship. And as I do, my love comes back to me through them, completing the circle. Truly, we can keep it only by giving it away.

A meditation for January 8, 2013.

Continue reading “Love, strength, and courage – a meditation”

Choices – Episode 5

Do we have choices in our lives? What kinds of choices do we have? How have we found choices in recovery? Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer discuss our experience, strength, and hope about finding and making choices in our lives, before and after we found recovery.

Kelli, Swetha, and Spencer talk about choices. In the past, we did not understand that we had choices. Much of the time, we felt that there was no choice. We may have thought that any decision must be black and white, good and bad, or that we must make a decision right away. Much of the time, we felt constrained by the decisions made by others, such as our parents. Spencer talks about making decisions such as what house to buy, where to go to school, with very little thought. He relates that, when he was early in Al-Anon, that he was told that he did not have to make a choice immediately, that he could wait. Swetha talks about feeling that any choice must be a permanent choice, that if she chose chocolate ice cream one day, she was committed to chocolate forever. When Kelli began to understand that she had choices, she found the idea scary.

Continue reading “Choices – Episode 5”

Denial – Pilot Episode 4

What is denial? How did we experience denial in our lives? What tools have we found to combat it? How is our life better when we accept reality on its own terms? Spencer, Kelli, and special guest Erika discuss these questions and share our experience, strength, and hope on the topic of denial.

Spencer, Kelli and Erika discuss denial. We started with a reading that said, in part “Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minutes to the next. We adapted by taking whatever part of reality suited us and ignoring the rest. Again and again we were devastated because reality didn’t go away just because it was ignored.”

Continue reading “Denial – Pilot Episode 4”

peace – a meditation

peace at sunset





If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

– Lao Tzu




I am struggling right now with living in the future. The health of someone I love very much is declining rapidly and visibly. I see this person only a few times a year, and the difference between the last visit, in the fall, and this visit is startling and frightening. I can only envision this path continuing downhill to death, and I am frightened and angry at that prospect. Sharing my fear at a meeting has helped to lessen the anxiety, but it is still there. I know that death is inevitable, and I pray for acceptance of that fact. Perhaps more importantly, I must pray that I am ready when it does come. Only through acceptance and the help of my Higher Power can I return to living in the present. Only then will I again be at peace.

A meditation for December 27, 2012.

Continue reading “peace – a meditation”