Presence – a meditation

presence

 

I have finally found a place to live just like I never could before.
And I know I don’t have much to give, but soon I’ll open any door.
Everybody knows the secret, everybody knows the score.
I have finally found a place to live in the presence of the lord.

Eric Clapton – In the Presence of the Lord

Step 12 says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps …” This is the only promise in the Steps. But what a promise it is! For some, this awakening was sudden and dramatic. For me, it was gradual and almost unnoticed, until in working Step 12, I was forced to look back. Then I saw how my life had changed; how my relationships with others had changes; and most dramatically, how my understanding of and connection with a power greater than myself had grown and flowered. I know that I am in the presence of my higher power whenever I walk into a meeting. The feeling of serenity, peace, and connectedness that I get comes directly from God.

A meditation for December 23, 2012.

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Let it go – a meditation

Let it go – autumn color

 

to live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes
to let it go,
to let it go

Mary Oliver – In Blackwater Woods

I sometimes need to be reminded that being alive means that things change. That the people, places, and things I love will not be in my life forever. Their mortality should not keep me from loving them. I must love them all the more, “knowing [my] own life depends on it.”  And when their time is at an end, I must “let it go.”

This is so hard. So hard. So painful. But it is essential, for to never change, to never leave, to never die, is not to live. For only in living can we find joy. Only in living can we find freedom. Only in living can we find love. Let us live well, let us love well, and let us “let it go” well.

Amen, and Blessed Be.

A meditation for December 20, 2012.

 

Hope – a meditation

A beacon of hope

 

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune–without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickinson – Hope

After I accepted my powerlessness over my loved one’s alcoholism, I had to find a new meaning for hope. I could no longer say “I hope for sobriety”, because that would set up an expectation. I had no way of assuring that expectation would be met, and so I would again find myself descending into the pit of despair. What hope came to mean for me, in those days, was that there was a possibility of change, not an expectation of change. This hope helped to sustain me. It “perched in my soul” and “sang the tune … sweetest in the gale”.

A meditation for December 19, 2012.