unity – a meditation

unity

 

 

 

Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.

Al-Anon’s Tradition 1

 

 

When I share my experience, strength, and hope in a meeting, I always remind myself to be guided by my Higher Power.  While I usually think that I am talking to aid my own recovery, or to share my own pain or joy; what is important is what another person might gain from my words. Our unity of purpose is to help others who have been affected by the diseases of alcoholism and addiction in their loved ones and to support each other in our recovery. Recently, a friend shared with me two experiences he had in meetings, where another person’s sharing spoke directly to his own experience, to his own struggles, and helped him to find a small step towards serenity. One of those shares came from a new member at her first meeting. Our Higher Power can truly speak through anyone. Another friend relates having shared, then feeling like she had really said nothing important, until a member across the room said “Thank you, that’s the first time today that I have laughed. Thank you for that.” I need to remember these and similar stories, and to know that God may choose to speak to someone else through me, whether I ever know it, or not.

A meditation for January 19, 2013.

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Letting Go – Episode 7

In this podcast, Spencer, Mark, and Swetha discuss letting go as a path to serenity and happiness. But if we do, to whom are we letting go?


letting go of caresSpencer, Mark, and Swetha discuss letting go. We talk about how we were or weren’t able to let go of things in our life before we came to the program. Spencer identified the slogan “Let go and let God” as a tool that he could adopt early on. At first he could only use “Let go”. He kept telling himself to “Let go” when he was tempted to try to control his loved one’s drinking. Mark shared that, before he entered the program, he did a lot of “letting go” — letting go of his needs and responsibilities, really letting go of almost everything other than his attempts to control his son’s drinking. His fear for his son overwhelmed him, and all he could do was try to control. Swetha “let go” of everything that didn’t happen the way she thought it should and that she couldn’t control, ignoring and denying unwanted reality, or else accepting defeat. Mark agreed that he was also letting go of reality, because he couldn’t face it.

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Expectations – Episode 6

We talk about expectations, how they can lead to resentment and disappointment, how we recognize them, and let go of them.


expectations

In this episode of The Recovery Show, Swetha, Kelli, and Spencer discuss expectations. Swetha wonders about the distinction between boundaries, expectations, and rules. She suggests that her boundaries are what she needs, her expectations are what she wants, and rules are an agreement about how people in a relationship will behave. Spencer notes that his expectations are frequently unexpressed – he expects others to read his mind, and to just somehow know what he expects them to do. Usually, people don’t meet his unstated expectations, leading to resentment. Kelli feels that boundaries are about things “in her hula hoop”, and expectations are “outside her hula hoop”. Kelli relates the question to the Al-Anon Steps, Traditions and Concepts.

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learn to surf – a meditation

surf!

 

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

This reminds me that when I accept reality, I will find new choices. When I do not accept what I cannot change, I waste time and energy fighting it. When I recognize it for truth, then I am freed to accomplish something better.

A meditation for January 13, 2013.

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only love – a meditation

 

only love can heal such a scar

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts

U2 — Magnificent

We come to Al-Anon when the drinking or drugging of someone we love has made our lives unmanageable. If we did not love them, it would not be so hard, it would not leave such a mark on our lives. Over time, loving an alcoholic can scar our souls, and can affect our lives and our manner of living long after that loved one is gone from our day to day life. In the program, we find a different kind of love. I found the love of my fellow Al-Anon members, who shared their innermost secrets, so that I might heal. I found the unconditional love of a Higher Power, and I know that the God of my understanding loves me just as I am, and wants only the best for me. This new love has been healing the scar in my soul, and my life is all the better for it.

A meditation for January 12, 2013.

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