Why are boundaries important to me right now? How am I setting and keeping healthy boundaries, today?

A couple of listeners shared their experience of boundaries. Spencer's discussion is guided by this outline.

  • How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 11 Detachment, Love, and Forgiveness has a section titled Personal Boundaries.
    • “… many of us find it difficult even to begin [to focus on ourselves] because we have lost track of the separation between ourselves and others.”
    • “Enmeshed” best describes my relationship with my loved one before Al-Anon 
  • I didn’t understand where I stopped and someone else began, so naturally I tried to take responsibility for everything.
  • Discovering boundaries: internal and external
  • Internal: “this is mine, that is not mine” (also the “hula hoop” concept)
    • Serenity prayer is a big help here.
  • External: limits I set on my behavior and limits I set on what I will tolerate
    • I will make sure I get enough rest, despite how late anyone else wants to stay up.
    • I reserve the right to remove myself from uncomfortable situations
    • I won’t give you more than I am comfortable giving
    • Not exactly a slogan: “Givers need to set boundaries because takers have none.”
  • Why are boundaries important now?
    • At home with my wife (and dog) 24-7.
    • Both of us are working — we both need to respect our work hours.
    • Outside the home: honor distancing guidelines (boundary on my own behavior)
    • Respect others’ desires
    • How do I respond when others are not honoring my boundaries (distancing)?

Readings and Links

We read from Hope for Today, November 6; Courage to Change, July 19, and How Al-Anon Works, pages 267-269

Feedback

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

2 comments on “Boundaries Today – 330

  1. Lisa says:

    Love your show… this one hits home a lot. Where are the songs from this episode?

    1. The Recovery Show says:

      Hi, Lisa. I did not select songs for this episode. That happens sometimes.

      -Spencer

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