What are you discarding from your life in your recovery? What are you keeping? And what do you want to add?
I recently found a blog post titled “I didn't get sober for this shit.”
I related to it in so many ways, and I'll share a few with you in this episode. I'd love to hear how you connect. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Music from the show
Alanis Morissette – That I would be Good
Tracy Chapman – Fast Car
Eminem – Going through Changes
Hello, I am writing to reach out to Cynthia (episode 212) that asked about parents of children that are in recovery.
My 16 year old daughter entered a 12 step program 21 months ago. We were so lucky to find an ‘enthusiastic sobriety’ program that focuses on teen/young adults and their parents.
The program is very focused on AA Al-anon and asks the parents to really focus on themselves and not their child. Which is a very hard balance with any underage child, especially one abusing drugs and alcohol. Without the parent support group we would have never made it through this last 2 years.
I have tried Al-anon meetings, but my parent support group is what I need right now.
Cynthia, my heart goes out to you.
Spencer, your show is great, and the topics are perfect for those living with an addict…. parent/spouse/etc. Thank you for the hope and love your show provides.
Thanks!
Alicia
Hi Spencer, My name is Michele from Minnesota and I am a returning AlAnon follower. I have experienced the abuse that comes from living with an alcoholic and his circle of alcoholic friends and family.
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your show and know that it has restored my sanity and saved my life. My husband and I have separated, again, and he has gone through treatment only to move in with his circle of drinking friends and slip even after a DUI. I seek my recovery from your episodes and listening on a regular basis helps me in my daily life to make better choices and not react to the verbal abuse that comes from my husband when he is not working a program. I have learned so much about codependency and how to love in a healthier way without trying to control or engage in conversations that are nothing but toxic. I recognize the push back I feel from my loved ones when I choose not to engage in toxic speak used to scare me into a defensive attitude now tells me I am on the right path to recovery and to inhibit or at least stop the toxic conversation on my end.
Thank you again for your tireless efforts with these episodes. They have truly changed my life and thank you to everyone who contributes. I consider The Recovery Show my greatest, wise counsel. What a blessing!
Great episode. I love the format of asking questions and answering them. This episode was fantastic thank you for your honesty. Interesting to hear the word choice “Discarding” as letting go… I’m not sure how else to manage how I “Do” life, though I know It is not healthy for me to hold onto my resentment and anger towards my Ex.
Ive been trying to understand what codependent means and found this passage, maybe the questions could be an episode prompt? Maybe for letting go, need to control, detachment…all things that seem pretty illusive to me to be honest. Thank you!
“Letting Go of the Need to Control”
The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in selfenhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems.
—Codependent No More
Letting go of our need to control can set us and others free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us. If we weren’t trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently? What would we do that we’re not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say? What decisions would we make? What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes? If we weren’t trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren’t trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren’t trying to control another person’s behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now? What haven’t we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we’ve been doing that we’d stop? How would we treat ourselves differently? Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better? If we weren’t trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, then do it.
Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren’t trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set myself and others free.