We start with a reading from an Al-Anon flyer titled Detachment.
- What thoughts about detachment does the reading bring up for you?
- When you first heard the word “detachment” in a meeting, what did you think it meant?
- Did “detachment with love” make any sense to you at all?
- What is the difference between detachment and distancing or separation?
- Why do I get angry? Fear. Because I care.
- Maybe I have to become “indifferent” when moving from anger to love.
- What forms of detachment have you found/learned?
- Emotional — my emotions are not ruled by someone else’s.
- Detaching the person from their disease (How Al-Anon Works, Detachment section in Chapter 11):
If someone we love had the flu and cancelled plans with us, most of us would understand. We wouldn’t take it personally or blame the person for being inconsiderate or weak. Instead, in our minds, we would probably separate the person from the illness, knowing that it was the illness, rather than our loved one, that caused the change of plans. This is detachment.
- Detaching from outcomes
- How has detachment helped you?
- Treating others with more kindness and compassion.
- Give a power greater than myself a space to come in.
- Not getting “pulled down”
- Being able to love the person while hating their actions
- Finding forgiveness
- More serenity.
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Music from the show
Dirty Projectors: What I See
Ray LaMontagne: Empty
Fiona Apple: Across the Universe